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My Vagina Monologue

April 8, 2011
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Last night I was in a play. It was a piece of reader’s theatre that you may have heard of: The Vagina Monologues.

I read a monologue about a woman who had gone to a workshop in an effort to learn how to have an orgasm. I thought it was pretty hilarious — and rather touching. And the audience did too. They laughed. It was so exciting to make so many people that happy — even though it was just for a few moments.

The piece probably also made them think. It made me think. In fact, I realized that I probably haven’t spent as much time thinking about my vagina as I spent reading that monologue. Not all at once, that’s for sure. And I certainly related to my monologue in that I never really considered my vagina to be something attached to me.

It’s a part of me sure, but when guys are trying to get into it — or spending time in it — I don’t always think of it as a part of me. And I don’t think the men do either. Not all of them. Maybe most of them.

So, because of this play I have spent a lot of time thinking about vaginas — mine in particular. And I can’t quite sort it out. Last night after the show a group of us went out for cocktails. We talked about the show. We asked some of the questions the show brought up. Like, what would your vagina wear? And if it could talk, what would it say?

I even asked some of the men what their penis would wear or say. None of us had very many answers to those questions. I suppose personifying a body part is rather difficult.

So, what’s the largest truth here? The first things that come to mind are all very negative.

My vagina is a place that has been invaded. A place that I have purposely tried not to think about. That’s probably the reason that I don’t consider it all that attached to me. I detached it by removing myself emotionally from whatever situation I was in. Thinking about it in the other room with the babysitter, the boyfriend, the stranger from the bar, and imagining myself on my couch or in the bathroom — maybe even hovering above the action watching it happen. Not even in my body let alone attached to that body part.

And that’s really all I can think of when I think of my vagina.

At least at the moment. And that’s not to say that I haven’t enjoyed it. I have. But the biggest thoughts are these ugly ones.

So I need some new, beautiful things to think about that body part. Things that will attach me to it. I guess I’ll just have to work on that.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. April 8, 2011 12:37 pm

    “what would your vagina wear? And if it could talk, what would it say?” – that’s really interesting. Most of the thoughts that comes to my mind are not ugly at all… a vagina is not a ugly place or part, but a sensual, full of life part of ones body etc.

    Hope your night wasn’t driven down by the ugly thoughts ;)

    • April 8, 2011 1:46 pm

      Quite the contrary. My evening was AMAZING! I met some fantastic people and the entire night benefited a good cause. I just need to find some better answers for myself. Don’t worry. I’ll get there.

  2. April 8, 2011 4:57 pm

    The VM was very powerful. I’ve seen it twice, once with a “celeb” cast and once when my daughter produced it at her law school. The law students’ version was just as good!

  3. Thomas permalink
    April 20, 2011 4:10 am

    wow… so many ideas floating around with this post… I must admit I am sad… some men willingly understand that it IS attached to you and it’s not a place to invade, but a place to dialogue and become closer… a place that some of us recognize as holy ground…sanctuary…. some of us look at it to unlock the secrets of what a woman’s thoughts really are….never a field of battle as this post’s undertones suggest… you my darling girl, need someone who knows what solid intimacy truly means, has a tongue of heaven, and who is into knowing that you deserve amazing orgasms just as much as they want one….

    T.

    http://istealkisses.wordpress.com

    • April 20, 2011 7:25 am

      Thank you, Thomas. I am working on all of those things personally (and with my counselor). Especially the idea of my body and my bed as a sanctuary. Difficult when in the past it has been more of a battleground. Thank you for reading and I hope you will keep coming back. Your ideas are the kinds of things I will be needing to hear rather regularly while I’m working toward continued healing in this area.

  4. February 11, 2012 3:53 pm

    When evolution created men and women, it created a way to create baby’s, so they could grow up and become men and woman also.

    The woman’s “private place”, is as important and beautiful as a man’s, but so often they are both used for instant gratification, which is mistaken for love.

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