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When the Universe Demands Action

April 29, 2011

Follow the signs…right? Or does the Universe really ever  demand anything?

I believe in free-will. Always have. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe my intelligence is too limited for me to understand how the allusion that I’m making choices is really an illusion. So, I’ll stick with the idea isn’t an illusion at all and that I really can chose my own fates.

Of course, I still wish I didn’t have to.

I’m not so good at decisions. Maybe that’s why I’m always looking for signs. I want my dreams to mean something deep, important and obvious. I want the things I can’t control to be answers of some kind. The accidents, the random meetings, the weather!

For most of my life I have believed in a powerful creator-God that had the ability to (and cared enough to bother to) shape our lives and give us signs along the way so that we would be able to make the right choices. The choices that would be best for us. The choices He wanted us to make.

I don’t know what I think about that anymore. I spent a lot of time asking for answers, signs and direction and felt like I wasn’t getting any — despite my efforts to be receptive.

But, I have actually chosen a trajectory/career path based on what some might consider “signs.” People kept saying, “why doesn’t anyone do that,” or even more explicitly, “why don’t you do that?” And, well I started thinking, “someone should do that. Yeah, I should!”

And now I’m wondering about other things. Like, I detest my job and I want to quit but I’m too scared. Well, it’s getting to the point now that I’m afraid they might fire me. So, I guess I should have quit sooner.

And there’s this guy. He keeps popping up everywhere. I want to get to know him better but not much has come of it. But I keep seeing him EVERYWHERE. Is his emergence just a coincidence or is it a sign? Is the Universe just trying to give me a chance to ask him out? Or maybe it’s giving him a chance? At any rate I just saw him again and my first thought was, “What the Fuck?” (Then I thought, what are the odds in a town this size?)

If it is a sign I’m not getting the message.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 2, 2011 12:25 am

    Thought Provoking!

  2. Vinnie permalink
    October 15, 2012 3:19 pm

    The universe is fickle – I have similar beliefs to yours and like you I tend to look for the “signs” in life.I don’t think we have a set path in life but various possibilities based on choices in addition I believe that we are meant to learn life lessons from the situations we encounter. My motto is if the same mess keeps happening or you get stuck at a particular area in life then you have not learned the lesson. That being said I have spent a lot of time agonizing over decisions e.g should I accept a new job for which i’d have to relocate thousands of mile away?. From the time I saw the vacancy posting the signs all said this job was mine and I felt it in the pit of my stomach – so I applied and got selected and once I decided to go for it and accepted the position things started slowing down, the paperwork was taking forever to come through and then lo and behold I finally get the paperwork and the same day I received a call from a friend that my dream job – which was located only an hour away was open and If i was interested the organization really wanted me for the position, he was moving so I could have take over the lease on his apartment and they were also willing to meet my terms salary wise and paying for my move. – needless to say I took it. Anyway all that to say this after agonizing over a decision that the signs pointed to and finally coming to decision the universe went “psyche”
    Since then i’ve changed my decision making method and it’s a mixture of pros and cons, what resonates as right within me and whether or not I could deal with the worst thing that could happen.

    So the next time you see that guy go chat him up and ask him out at least you’ll get a response to that question.

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