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What Was His Name Again?

February 27, 2012

It wasn’t that long ago. Maybe a couple of months. I was a little bit tipsy, which means I was feeling a little sexy. So, I texted him. Just to say hi and flirt. I knew it would be safe because I knew he wouldn’t try to get in my pants — mostly because his house is way out in the woods. And even if his phone did pick up the signal he wasn’t going to come all the way to town. Even if he thought he might get laid.

I don’t know what I said to him, but his answer was pretty brash: I have a girlfriend.

Well, okay. Good luck with that. And I deleted his number out of my phone.

It’s not like I’d seen him for months anyway. The last time I saw him he was on a date with another girl…at the restaurant where I work. And I had to keep walking past his table, trying not to make eye contact. Thank God I wasn’t his server.

He caught my eye a couple of times and smiled. Grinned at me in that knowing way that made my cheeks catch on fire and gave me the intense urge to look down just to be sure that I was still clothed.

Isn’t it funny that being around someone who knows what you look like naked makes you feel like everyone suddenly knows what you look like naked?

And even though he was never my boyfriend — just a tryst gone a little wrong — he’s seen so much more than me naked. He held me the day of my uncle’s funeral. Watched me cry. Saw the laughter behind my eyes that one only gets a glimpse of when I feel comfortable enough to feel like no one is looking. Heard me singing to myself. Felt my breath on his neck while we whispered in the dark to one another.

That naked.

And when I told him that I wasn’t happy just being a tryst — that I wanted a significant other, not just a lover — he behaved so bizarrely. Even when I told him he had a good chance at being my man, if he wanted it. He just disappeared.

An extra measure of pain in the vulnerability.

Extra naked.

Then having him smile at me while I worked… yeah.

So, his number is gone and I didn’t think I would ever see him again.

Over, right? No biggie.

And then I went to the theatre. And I saw him — of all things — trailing behind a friend of mine in that way that a boyfriend trails his girlfriend when he’s been persuaded to go to the theatre but doesn’t really want to be there.

So she’s the girlfriend.

And I feel naked again. But no one saw him look at me. My friend didn’t. No one else in the room can see that I remember what he smells like when he’s been sweating. Or that he likes to mumble a bit so that a person has to lean closer to hear him.

And he avoided looking at me again.

“Well, I hope they’re happy.”

But, of course, I can’t leave it at that. I was curious. I asked some of our mutual friends how long she had been seeing him. (I wondered if she really was the girlfriend he mentioned or if she’s a newer incarnation of that position.) I got a very odd responses. Both of the people I asked were a bit confused. Confused because I had his name wrong. His name wasn’t Evan. His name is Eddie.

“Huh? I swear that’s him. Evan Romano, right?”

“Nope, Eddie Ramirez.”

Did something small just explode? And was it someplace in my head?

I saw both of them again a week later, Evan…er, Eddie and my friend, and I am just baffled at what I could or should possibly do next. I mean what are the options? Tell my friend? Confront him about it? I can’t call or text him, cause I deleted his number.

Maybe when I saw the two of them I should have introduced myself and seen what he did. Maybe it isn’t him. Maybe I should ask if he has a big surgical scar on his thigh and see how guilty he reacts.

That makes me laugh to think about. Like an awkward scene in a movie.

In a movie — right? Not in real life. It’s unreal.

Maybe I imagined it all. What was his name again?

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24 Comments leave one →
  1. February 27, 2012 9:19 am

    Ille tell you something. I’m a man, but I wouldnt let any woman “”into my pants””, to quote this modern saying, unless they liked me for more than just sex..

    The rest of your posting is just speculation, based on personal obsession, and introspection.

    • February 27, 2012 9:28 am

      Do you watch my blog just waiting for me to post again so that you can convolut what I write in order to insult me? I mean, “personal obsession”? That’s a very hurtful comment.

      • March 11, 2012 10:40 pm

        Michael doesn’t even have a blog, just trolls around others’? Lovely.

    • April 29, 2012 1:07 pm

      Michael, of course, you would never let any woman “get into your pants” just for sex. It’s the other way around, you would always get into the pants of a woman you want, regardless if it is JUST FOR SEX!

  2. February 27, 2012 11:46 am

    Wow, how bizarre of him – I’ve seen plenty of tales of dating deception on blogs, but usually the people don’t seem to go as far as lying about their name! No wonder you were thrown by it! One thing I was wondering: I think you wrote that you asked people how long the two of them had been together; did you get an answer? Was there an overlap with you? I guess the answer to that is the difference between weird lie and total jerk. But I’ve never really settled on an answer to the question “should one tell someone if their partner is a liar, or is it best to stay out of it?” I think I would want to know, but maybe not everyone would.

    • February 27, 2012 5:27 pm

      I don’t think there was any overlap. It’s just weird. And I probably won’t say anything to her. Or him even. If he is a bad guy she will probably figure it out eventually.

  3. David C permalink
    February 27, 2012 8:01 pm

    Wow.

    One of my favorite drinks is a “drambuie fizz”… you have to go in this order.

    Rocks glass
    Ice.
    drambuie about half way.
    Splash of lime (lightly squeeze 1/2 of a real lime, although in a pinch those plastic things will work)
    Soda to the top.

    Drambuie is this really syrupy licorice-whiskey, 80 proof… and it will sneak-up on you unbelievably fast. But it has this intoxicating sweetness.

    Then the lime really tweaks your taste-buds…and the soda makes it bearable to drink the strength of the sweetness.

    Reading this post made me feel just like I was drinking one of those. It was just about too much to take, but there was enough other stuff going on that made what would normally be unbearable to read/digest, digestable. Great writing to elicit that sort of a response within me that I’m doing a dogshit job of explaining.

    Anyway… there’s a pretty good chance that he knows you’ve seen him naked, and he’s pretty emberassed and uncomfortable with himself about it. There’s no way he wouldn’t have been more cordial with you on that phone call if he were at least a little OK with it.
    a) He wouldn’t dare, dare, dare say, “I have a girlfriend” in front of his girlfriend. Ok, I wouldn’t. Unless I’m masochistic about my relationships.
    b) I’m always down for a chat with most anyone, even if I shouldn’t be.

    I’m willing to bet you’ve been more ‘naked’ with him than his girlfriend—and it scares the hell out of him.

    • February 27, 2012 10:31 pm

      So you’re saying I should just pretend that I don’t know him and wait for her to realize there is something wrong with him?

      • February 28, 2012 4:12 am

        My understanding of what David was saying is that Evan/Eddie saw the REAL in You and through this, also saw that part of himself. And THAT’S what scared him.

        From my perspective…someone who pretends to not know me after sharing something special (even if it didn’t work out to be a long-term relationship) wouldn’t remain in my phone directory either. Good for You!

        It has been my experience that a large number of men (especially under the age of 35) consider REAL as foreign, and it brings up a lot of fear and anxiety in them… And then the fight or flight response tends to kick in. Flight then, appears to be the much easier response rather than coming face to face with the unfamiliar.

        So Evan/Eddie wasn’t ready for REAL. There are men out there who are. . . it may appear that they are few and far between. I think that’s why I had so much trouble dating within my age range. (Way back in the “olden days” when I did such things) :-) I just didn’t have a lot of tolerance for the younger men who couldn’t seem to deal with real.

        • February 28, 2012 10:16 am

          Interesting. Real is always my goal. And then, of course when you nget lazy real is what happens. I don’t know if that’s why things didn’t work out with him. Honestly no matter how well it all might have gone not knowing his real name probably precludes anything real working out. Anyway. I don’t miss him. I don’t even really want him. And it’s pretty obvious that I don’t really KNOW him. It was just an observati9n of my own reactions and thoughts. And what the heck…I mean he’s dating my friend now. Should I tell her about the name thing? I dunno.

          • February 28, 2012 2:47 pm

            If it were me dating the guy, I would want to know if there was a chance he was a “bad” guy. Whether or not you friend chooses to believe what you say at least you know you made the effort to “warn” her.

            Just my two cents…

            • February 28, 2012 4:16 pm

              I’ll be sure to let you all know what I decide.

              • April 29, 2012 1:16 pm

                If that girl is really your friend, I believe you should tell her. She will eventually find out that her boyfriend slept with you, and it would be worst that she didn’t find about it from you. Just my two cents. But on the other hand, I dont know if this is a true story, or if you made it all up to test your writing skills…that by the way, you are very good writer!
                !

  4. David C permalink
    March 4, 2012 7:09 pm

    I thought this post was about you — so yes, don’t let her know.

    Likewise, I think it would probably be best to let him and the situation be. It’s already wasted enough of your time.

    • March 5, 2012 12:29 pm

      Thanks, Dave. That was the plan. Although the friend just e-mailed me asking me what I know about her boyfriend. Ish.

  5. March 11, 2012 10:39 pm

    Wow. I know what you mean about “Real being the goal.” I think people want that, but I also think many are scared when it happens. I’m the curious type, and I would want to know what the deal was. Now that your friend is asking you, it makes it more difficult. I would be inclined to tell her that what you know might not be what she wants to hear. Of course she will probably still want you to tell her, but she would be forewarned. Or you could always start by asking what his name is…

    • March 11, 2012 11:22 pm

      Well, it turns out my friend broke up with what’s-his-name. And I told her. And I’m not sure what her reaction really was, but she said we are okay.

      • March 13, 2012 10:14 pm

        FYI: “How did I taste?” is a bad thing to say, if this comes up again. :)

        • March 14, 2012 9:24 am

          I can’t imagine a scenario wherein I would ever say that…but tanks for the advice.

  6. April 18, 2012 11:34 am

    Oh Crystal… I nominated you for a blogger award. :-) More details: http://ohjenni.com/2012/04/18/14794/

  7. May 26, 2013 2:19 pm

    Hey! How are you? Did you stop posting? Was great hearing about your dating adventures, I hope you are okay and will post again soon :)

    • June 12, 2013 7:17 pm

      Oh, I’m so sorry. I am still writing. I just haven’t been posting what I write because I’ve been working on longer fiction. I wrote a whole book for NaNoWriMo this past November!

      As for blogging, life has been pulling me a round a lot lately. I have been thinking I should start posting again and I’ve been getting some encouragement lately. I think I just need to suck it up and do it!

  8. Kerri permalink
    June 5, 2013 4:13 am

    I hope you are still writing, loved your stories. It really bites when I stumble across a great blog, only to find it’s gone stale. Hope you find your way back.
    ~Kerri

    • June 12, 2013 7:17 pm

      Oh, I’m so sorry. I am still writing. I just haven’t been posting what I write because I’ve been working on longer fiction. I wrote a whole book for NaNoWriMo this past November!

      As for blogging, life has been pulling me a round a lot lately. I have been thinking I should start posting again and I’ve been getting some encouragement lately. I think I just need to suck it up and do it!

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