First Date Questions
Looks like he likes her and she's laughing. I'd say someone just asked or answered a good first date question.
So I’m going on a date tonight and I’m actually excited about it. And it’s been a long time since a guy asking me out was someone I was actually interested in getting to know better. In fact, over the past few months (maybe years even) the biggest reason most of the guys got a shot is because I didn’t want to accidentally turn down someone who could be the guy just because he didn’t seem very interesting initially.
At least looking back that’s how it seems. I mean, to be fair I was excited about the professor for most of our first date. Until I found out that he wasn’t interested in a “monogamous, long-term relationship.” Great.
That’s right, he told me on like our first date that his plan was actually to date me (and have sex with me) and date several other women — one whom he had already chosen — and sleep with them as well. Now, I’m not a guy, but if dating a girl (and sleeping with her) makes you want to sleep with other women she’s probably not the one — and she probably isn’t very good at sex either. I’m just saying.
And the funniest — and perhaps most tragic — part: I still went on like four more dates with him. I don’t know what I was thinking. Although, upon retrospect, if I had stuck it out one more date maybe he would have fixed the overhead light in my living room like he promised. I wonder if it would have been worth it.
Well, at any rate, I have a first date coming up. That’s my point and I’m excited about and I guess that made me feel like sharing. So, I thought I would commemorate the event with a little participation from the audience. I’d like to know what you all think are good questions to ask someone on a first date. Male or female, but maybe if it’s a gender-specific question let us know.
And I don’t want all of the silly little pedantic things that will come up naturally. I mean good questions that could possibly reveal important things about this guy. (You know, like how many women he plans on sleeping with at any given time.)
For example, I used to always ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And that was usually fun and informative — even once we all became grown-ups (sort of). But with this fella something makes me think it will be out of place.
I also used to ask fellas a two-fold super-hero question, “If you were a superhero, which super hero would you be and why?” And, “If you could be any super hero which super hero would you be, and why?” It seems like the same question for some people, but the nuance is important. The first identifies which superhero the fella is most like currently and the second identifies who he would want to be. It can be a great conversation starter and also reveal interesting things about a guy.
For example, a fell who is most like Batman might have issues with the amount of money he spends on big-boy toys like cars. Not that that’s always true, but it has some relevance.
Again, I’m not sure if those questions will work on the fella I’m going on the date with tonight. But I might try them anyway. (Folks, I’d say the super hero questions are probably better to ask a guy unless the particular lady you are on a date with is clearly into that sort of thing.)
Also, last night while I was getting into my pajamas it struck me that the moment I take off my bra is almost always one of my favorite moments of the day (damn you under wire!) and I think it might be a good idea to ask a date (male or female) what their favorite part of the day is and why.
But…really, that’s all I’ve got for now. So I need some more questions if I’m going to conduct a worthwhile interview over dinner tonight. HELP ME OUT!
(I wonder if her would be weirded out if I take notes? Yeah…probably. Drat!)
Like this:
One Big, Great, Aweful Year Over
A toast to what all the things 2011 was, and to all the things 2012 can and will be.
So, I’m sure I’ll miss something and I’m pretty sure that I’ll get something out of order too, but 2011 was a pretty big damn year for me. There were some big events, some great events, some awful events and…well a lot of important ones.
So, here are the ones I can think of off the top of my head:
525,600 Minutes on Stage
This year I got a chance to hit all of the high notes in Rent for an actual audience. Okay, so I didn’t get the part I should have and that is my fault — at least in part. I should have made them listen to me sing “Take Me or Leave Me” at call backs, because I’m amazing and I should have been Mimi. But since when is local theatre in Rapid City even close to perfect?
It was a pretty emotional situation for me too for a lot of reasons. Of course being in the chorus again created a lot of emotions. Also, my best friend and all of her sisters were in the show — which was amazing in one sense, but in another I felt like a big outsider in one of my very important relationships.
But I also got to perform at my high school again and sing some very important music that has a lot to do with the person I have become. So I have to be grateful for it.
The Jewel of Minnesota
Near the beginning of the year I got to visit one of my best friends in Minneapolis. Seeing the city and seeing her at the same time (along with my bestie Dee) was amazing in so many ways for so many reasons. I just wish we hadn’t wasted so much time looking at the U of M campus. Boo.
I love you Jewels and I miss you even though I got to see you just a week ago!
Said the ‘C’ Word in Public
That’s right. And I talked about vaginas and I wore red and I met a lot of lovely ladies. while helping a great cause. And I think I got the part because of my aunt Sylvia. Copying her accent got me into the show. Love and miss you aunt Syl.
I also have to say, I love reader’s theatre. It’s so great to be able to put on an awesome play in just a month! I also got to meet my Toms that night and they have been a wonderful addition to my life this year.
Grad School Fail
That’s right, I didn’t get into grad school. And, strangely enough, I didn’t really mind. I still might try to go again, but I’m confident that it doesn’t matter if I ever get in. Although I was newly energized to get out of my job that was sucking my life out through the eyeballs on a daily basis. Do you know how much it sucks to know that you’re doing a bad job every day? I do, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.
Dream On
So, I didn’t get into grad school. But I did get a new dream almost immediately — like the same night I read the last rejection letter. Several really. And I haven’t been able to fully realize them, but I have taken steps toward them and it feels pretty amazing. I’m free. I’m empowered. I’m newly committed to daydreaming. It’s one of the most useful things I’ve ever done.
My Name is Crystal, I’ll Be Your Server Today
That’s right. I started waiting tables again. I went to college and graduated with straight…eh, Bs, and worked in my field for six and a half years just so that I could be a server again. Ain’t life a bitch?
Well it is and it isn’t.
I started waiting tables for extra money to pay off debt and save up for that whole dream thing. And it went pretty well once I got over the fact that the last time I waited tables was when I had dropped out of college for a semester. It’s funny, I looked back on waiting tables as motivation to get through college (so that I would never have to wait tables again) and now, in a sense, I’m back where I started.
This time though, I like it a lot better and I am much better at it
I also lost 20 pounds in the first few months. I’m sort of getting paid to work out, eh?
I Paid the Piper
Waiting tables worked. I was able to pay off my most significant credit card debt, incorporate my business and save up a few thousand dollars of capital as well as a few months of living expenses. And honestly, I didn’t think I would be able to even pay off one credit card waiting tables for six months.
While working both jobs my apartment became incredibly messy and several of my friendships suffered. I’m rebuilding all of that now. But because it was for a short time I do feel it was a worthy sacrifice. But I miss those friends and my poor blog died a little. Here’s to new life in the New Year!
I Quit!
That’s right, I quit, my regular, stable, soul-sucking job. And it might be the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. (Only time will tell, I suppose.) So far I’m making more money and working less often — at least it feels like it because when I work I get to do it in my pajamas if I want.
Let’s get Started
You may have figured out from the previous bits that I started my own business. Well I did and it’s going great. I love it. Most of it. And it has been a great first step toward one of those dreams –as well as the full realization of my dream to quit that job. Hooray!
We’ll have to see how the next steps work out.
That’s Write
After I quit my job, one of the first things I did was teach a writing class for community education. Two in fact.
The first one was a blogging for business class. And it went pretty well. I liked my students and I learned a lot about teaching. The second class was about memoir writing and the personal essay and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life so far. My students were amazing and I know we all learned a lot.
In fact, it looks like we may try to get together for sessions in the coming year and I am stoked. I just have to find a place.
Grandma Died
Yeah, not exactly a high note to leave on for the year, but it is very significant. The day before Thanksgiving my mom’s mother — the only grandparent I remember — Catherine Bennett, left us all behind. She was the oldest child and daughter of the oldest child and daughter in her family. Just like my mother. Just like me.
I’m crying about it again right now as I type this. All I can say is LOVE.
Luckily, I was able to spend about a week with her before she left. And every time anyone calls me (or anyone else) “honey,” I will think of her. And probably cry a little.
Publish This
In the last few weeks of the year I have been doing a lot of work for my business (ironically the contracts have been with my former employer) and I have already made back the majority of my initial investment. The work has been fun. Writing, photography, page design and advertising.
I also have plans for new projects in the new year. I’m still waiting tables on the weekends, and I probably will be for quite a while. But I do enjoy it — as long as I only have to do it for a few days each week.
My counsellor asked me on Wednesday what I want 2012 to look like and I’m not completely sure yet. I want my business to continue in the direction it has taken in these first few months and I want to create something with it that will make this a better place to live.
And I still want love. And maybe an apartment where my puppy can live.
Oh, there’s more, but I will write about it for all of you (and for myself) very soon. Happy New Year (and New Year’s Eve) toall of you. Please feel free to share your most significant momentws from 2011. I’d love to know all about it.
Cathy Knows…
Cathy greets me with sideways smiles, knowing glances and a gravelly but kind voice every time I go into the newspaper office. Her no-nonsense manner and wise eyes staring up at me through the bangs in her dark gray, shoulder-length page-boy touch something real in me that I feel like we share..
“How is your grandma doing?” Cathy asked from behind the desk as I was signing in.
“Well, actually, she died the day before Thanksgiving,” I said.
“So she’s all better then,” Cathy said. And then that smile started to spread across her face.
“That’s right,” I said, starting to smile (and tear up) myself. “She’s all better know.”
