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My poor little ego…

October 12, 2006
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My poor little ego took a hit this week. A significant portion of my movie review was cut. Happily, I did not have to do the cutting myself. My friend Kim chopped it up for me. The talented and intelligent Lt. Wright doesn’t care for my perspective on life being mixed into my opinions on current films. She is a wise woman, so it was probably wise to remove my rant about disliking sports amid my opinion of sports movies.

So we took it out of the column, but here, on my blog, I have the power. And I’m sure that while Lt. Wright doesn’t care what I think about sports some of you might!

So, here it is:

I hate sports.

Really I do.

I hate how spectators get all wrapped up in them as if they were playing the games themselves. I hate how sports — like politics — spur on competition and animosity between people who could otherwise be pals.

I hate that people who play sports make so much money and seem to break so many laws. Most of all I hate when guys I like want me to like sports — and sometimes these guys even want me to play sports.

When it comes to sports I’m not one to jump in the game. I don’t want to compete. I don’t like opposing my friends for fun. To top it all off I’m not agile — at all.

I’m a downright klutz. Life is a lot safer for me if I just stay on the couch — or in a movie theater seat.

Now for the seemingly hypocrytical twist — I hate watching and playing sports, but I love sports movies!

In fact, I find it hard to understand why anyone in their right mind wouldn’t enjoy the average sports flick.

The boys are cute, the games consist primarily of highlights, there’s usually a bit of romance and the good guys — who are usually the underdog — almost always win. I love it!

I also love how sports movies attribute so much emotion and nobility to the men who play the main characters. While it frustrates me in life to see men get so emotional about sports, in the movies it’s just plain poignant.

Furthermore, for anyone who has ever felt like an underdog, sports movies tap into this insecurity in an intense and often productive way. No matter how big a loser I feel like I might be, watching a motley crew of Replacements, or fellas from the Caddyshack always makes me feel better about my lot in life.

Plus, it may be trite, but I love it when the good guys win. And in sports movies the good guys almost always win.

So down with sports! Curl up on your couch and celebrate the sports movie instead.

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