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Desperately Seeking SOMEONE!

February 27, 2007
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Too all of my friends who have boyfriends or husbands: I’m not looking for a man. So please don’t tell me things like “As soon as you quit looking he’ll find you.”

I’m just wondering what it is about me that has you all feeling sorry for me that I’m single. I’m tired of the apologetic eyes and the soothing tones and all the things you all do that make me fell like you not only find me pathetic but you feel sorry for me. Very, very sorry for me.

Seriously, I’m tired of everyone trying to console me about my singleness.

Like the way you try to make the family feel better at a funeral by saying things like, “He’s in a better place now,” or “At least she’s no longer suffering,” or my favorite stupid thing to say at a funeral, “I’m sure she’s watching down on us right now.”

First of all, what a load of crap. Do you think it really makes the grieving family feel better? I mean, I know we all feel like we have to say something because we care about the family, but honestly, does it really help?

Furthermore, if I have to hear another, “He’s out there somewhere,” whilst enduring pat on the shoulder, I may just go completely insane.

I’m wondering what state of mind do you all think I’m in if you think telling me something to the effect of, “the perfect guy is out there somewhere and he’ll find you eventually,” is actually going to help.

Honestly, if there is some fella, SOMEWHERE, who is perfect for me, isn’t it a rather depressing thought that he’s out there in the vastness of the universe rather than somewhere nearby?

So what’s the deal? I really want to know what I’ve been doing that makes me seem so desperate. Am I never allowed to want a boyfriend? Or, am I allowed to want it but never say so out loud?

Or perhaps I’m never allowed to express my opinion about the flaws I see in the opposite sex. And I definitely shouldn’t wish even for a moment that one of my former relationships had worked out.

I assure you, despite any signs that could be construed as desperation I am not desperately seeking SOMEONE. (Although, in the past I have had moments when the most attractive thing I saw in a guy was that he liked me.)

I promise, I’m not searching high and low for Mr. Right. And I’m definitely not trying to bide my time by finding a Mr. Right Now. At the very most I may be on the lookout for a guy with possibilities from time to time.

So please, enough with the pity. If you can muster it, I’ll take empathy. But if you’re just saying something because you feel like you have to, or because you are somehow trying to express that you care about me, don’t bother with the “There’s a guy for you too,” type of statements. If it’s because you care about me, find another way to say it cause the “poor you for being single” stuff isn’t translating. It just makes me feel like you think I’m dumb.

So thanks for the show of concern, but try to show it in another way in the future. I’m glad for all of you who have someone. But believe me I’m not sitting outside your relationship looking in longingly with a tear in my eye and my nose against the glass.

And I don’t want to hear the words, “There’s a perfect guy out there for you,” unless it’s a specific guy, you know where he is, have his phone number, or intend to set me up with him. Yeah, I said it, I’m not too proud to get fixed up.

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