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Capitalist Relations and the BBD

March 6, 2007

Why would a girl break up with a super-sweet fella, ending a perfectly nice relationship, for another guy?

A friend of mine recently told me about some of his woman woes. He’s a super-sweet guy with a great job and I can only imagine that he would be a fantastic boyfriend — in fact, I daydream about it from time to time. But he told me something to the effect that the ladies keep picking the ‘other guy’ instead of him. Apparently the girls decide that these ‘other’ fellas are offering a better relationship deal than my pal.

He wasn’t getting down on himself, he was just wondering what this was all about. Well, this partuicular thing isn’t a part of the feminine mystique that needs to be unraveled. I’ve decided, among other things, that this probably has nothing to do with him, or the ladies, and everything to do with the American capitalist regime.

Over the years, I have I profoundly divined that certain choices (such as those of the girls who give up on my friend in search of other men), are symptoms of the Curse of the BBD.

We all suffer from this curse in some form, because it is one of those things that flows from our human nature. Sort of a ‘the grass is always greener’ type of thing. But, more than that, this curse is enhanced by our advertising-enriched capitalist culture.

It’s one of the innate flaws that is ingrained into the character of almost everyone who is born and raised in America.

We’re shoppers.

As such, we are culturally conditioned to be on the lookout for the Bigger Better Deal — or BBD as I like to call it for short.

Sometimes this BBD curse manifests itself in a desire to buy the newest, most cutting-edge gadget when we already have quite enough gadgets. Or the BBD curse will urge us to own the fastest, sexiest car available when a sensible Civic would serve just as well. Other times we’ll buy expensive designer jeans for $200 instead of a plain durable pair for $20. None of that is really so bad. It’s good for the economy after all. But sometimes can be a big waste.

It is an especially horrible waste when it means throwing away a perfectly good fella — or lady — for a newer, faster, sexier or more technologically-advanced model.

The BBD concept keeps us from wanting what (and who) we have, because in the back of our minds an economic mantra chants to us: “there is something better out there, somewhere.”

In fact, the BBD is part of what kept me from buying a DVD player for years. I was just sure that a newer better technology would come along soon to replace it. In fact, the only reason I currently own such a device is because I won it at a picnic. (But that’s another story for another time.) Maybe that’s why I’m currently single too. As a premptive strike. There must be a bigger better model of man out there somewhere…right?

Unfortunately, I think the BBD is why a lot of divorces happen. When the BBD manifests itself in our interpersonal relationships we are prone to giving up or going out in search of that BBD.

And the thing is, once you’re in a relationship with someone for a while, anyone who is even slightly interesting can look like a BBD. Mostly it’s because you don’t know the bad things about people you’ve just met. So, even though te person is probably a lot like your current love interest, he or shee looks like a newer, shinier model. (For a fuller understanding of this particular concept, see the movie High Fidelity and John Cusack’s speech about panties.)

We just get it in our heads that there is something or someone out there who is better than our significant other because we are conditioned to shop. And it all turns into a big waste.

I’ve also come to the conclusion that porn promotes the BBD as well because, physically, there’s always gonna be someone who looks better than…well me. And I’m just getting uglier every second ’cause I’m aging. (Actually I’ve been losing weight so I look pretty dang good — but that’s not going to be the case for the rest of my life.)

And I want to be the most beautiful woman my husband sees naked…and the only way for that to happen is if I’m the ONLY woman he sees naked.

That was a bit off topic wasn’t it? Sorry. I’ll get on a different soapbox for that one at another time.

I can’t say I know of a cure for this curse, other than to just recondition yourself to quit shopping. We all want to get more and pay less. But love isn’t like WalMart.

Think about it this way. Sooner or later, in one way or another, you pay. Whether that means lower-quality items in the long run, or just lots of broken hearts and relationships along the way, ultimately, things are worth what they cost.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. jgeerdes permalink
    January 20, 2011 12:18 pm

    Tremendous thoughts, Crystal. Thanks for sharing them!


    • January 20, 2011 12:29 pm

      Thank you so much Geerdes. I know you’re a smart fella, so that is a great compliment!


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