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Feminine Perfection, Huh?

April 21, 2007

A friend of mine recently said, “I don’t know why the pursuit of the perfect woman is so ever-present in my mind…perhaps the minds of all men. Which is what makes us such assholes to the imperfect reality of woman. Poor women.”

This comment threw me into an frustrated state. I suddenly had a million questions and I asked him most of them. Luckily for me — and him — he isn’t the ‘asshole” he thinks himself to be. He had good answers. And his perfect woman isn’t really perfect. She’s just perfect for him. And she probably does exist.

So I got the answers to some of my questions about him specifically. But I still wonder, in general, what on earth do men want?

Do other men, besides my dear friend, actually want something that does exist? Could one of them possibly want me?

The search for the perfect woman, huh.

Well fellas, what would make her perfect? The way she looks? The way she sings? The way she acts? Would she just do everything perfectly? Why does something make me think that perfection — like beauty — is very much in the eye of the beholder?

And would a guy want a perfect girl if he weren’t perfect? And believe me most of you fellas are far, far, FAR from anything even resembling perfection.

I am perplexed. And maybe a little sad at the thought that men want perfection. Because I’m not perfect. Don’t get me wrong. I’m amazing. But I am not — NOT — perfect. Does that mean that any guy who wants me is either stupid enough to think I’m perfect or that he is settleing for me because he hasn’t run into that perfect woman yet?

Oh, how I tire of this male-female struggle.

I’m feeling kind of “not good enough for any man” right now. Well, sort of. I do really think I am amazing, and I’m getting better all the time. But I feel like, for some reason, guys don’t think I’m good enough for them. You know. No one seems to want me. And no one has ever really wanted me enough to pursue me (more about pursuit in a moment).

Is it just because I’m a little overweight?

I really hope that isn’t it because I really hate to do sit-ups, but deep-down I guess I know that is the problem.

I just can’t figure out if it’s my problem or the problem of the men who overlook me due to my size.

Anyway, if this perfection men seek really is a subjective reality that is held in the perspective of the person who is looking for it, maybe there is hope for the chubby girls of the world.

The idea of an equal is, in my opinion, the perfect idea of the perfect person. This, of course, brings up another question.

Why can’t you fellas be looking for a woman who is your equal? And, by the way, some of you guys should be working harder to become better men so that the better women will be your equals.

So that was the long way around for me to get to an important point.

If men — or women — are out there looking for something perfect they will definitely fail. Because no one is perfect. And in the mean time those seeking perfection will miss the beauty that exists around them every day in this imperfect world and the imperfect people around them.

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