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Seeing a Ghost

August 31, 2007
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It happened 20 minutes ago.*
My hands are still shaking.
I’m on the verge of tears.

I was just driving back to work after my lunch break and it floated into my field of view.

I felt my eyes widen and my mouth fall open.

“That Isn’t…” I thought.

I almost slammed on the breaks.

“It couldn’t be…”

My heart started pounding and I could actually feel the blood rush through my body.

“No.”

I almost screamed.

“How?”

My forehead began to sweat.

“I can’t believe I saw him — here — in downtown Rapid City.”

He’s supposed to be on the other side of the world interacting with the aboriginal tribe of something-or-other with his beautiful, little, skinny, petite, blonde, PERFECT wife — the girl he chose over me.

And seeing him was the scariest thing that has happened to me in a long time. Plus, I just realized that I am haunted by it.

As I walked around a corner just a moment ago I shrieked at the man who was coming toward me. The man was 10 feet from me — far from my personal bubble. It shouldn’t have startled me.

But as I turned that corner and I must have been thinking about how awful it would be to see him face-to-face. Now I’m afraid I’ll run into him around every corner.

And I really thought I was over this particular heart ache. But then again, I never thought I’d ever see him again. Especially in Rapid City.

The relationship was dead. I buried my emotions about it in the past — back in the dark recesses of my memory. It’s all over.

At least it was — until I saw him again.
It was just like seeing a ghost.

He doesn’t exist in my realm anymore. He died when we broke up — or at least when he got married. He’s not a possibility anymore. But he’s still breathing in and out.

My brain can’t seem to reconcile these two things.

I have another ghost in town. I see him on a regular basis. He works in the same building as me. We used to even go to the same church. He’s kind of the reason I changed churches. It’s hard to be haunted during worship service.

*Disclaimer: This actually happened on Monday. But I wrote it 20 minutes after it happened.

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