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Pretty Girl…

May 20, 2009

Well, now that I’m single again I have to deal with single-girl things again — most of which have to do with wanting to not be single.

Like how the heck can I meet someone in this town who is worth my time? And, if I do happen to meet a worthwhile fella how do I convince him that I am worth his time?

And I am newly confronted with the fact that I am not the prettiest girl in the room — well, I’m the prerttiest girl in this room because I’m all alone. But normally I am not the prettiest girl in the room. And I’m NEVER the prettiest single girl.

So turning a guy’s head long enough for him to notice that I’m smart and funny and interesting and caring and deeply passionate…blah blah blah. Chances are he’s just thinking about the skinny girl across the room. Or the blonde with the big boobs…or well any of my amazing single girlfriends.

Maybe I shouldn’t hang out with my amazing girlfriends — at least not around potentail boyfriends.

Maybe I should lose fifty pounds, get a boob job and dye my hair blonde.

I can feel what you are all thinking about that — you want the kind of guy who doesn’t care about that stuff. Well, you’re right I do want that kind of guy, but there is no such thing. They all care about that stuff. Even the sweet nice ones who push it aside do, initially, care about it.

Also, I don’t know if I want to be skinny again. I seriously lost my personality for a couple of years back when I was really thin. Honestly, people didn’t care if I was smart or interesting or funny…so I didn’t have to be any of those trhings and I lost my…well my Crystal-ness. My charisma, or finesse if you will.

I just wasn’t me.

I still remember the first guy who asked me out when I was that skinny. It was such a weird situation. He was a soccer player at my school and I had just met him. He had talked to me for like ten minutes — he hadn’t even seen me interact with other people — and he asked me on a date.

I think I laughed. I know I asked why. I think he said something like, “because you’re cool.”

“Well, yeah I am cool, but how would you know that? Maybe we should get to know each other a little bit better first. Ask me again in a month.”

A month later I think he was dating a basketball player.

At any rate, I’m back in the game and I’m not too athletic.

It is so frustrating to be confronted with this stuff in the way that I have to be now that I’m back in the dating game. I mean I really came to term with my looks years ago. I decided that I would rather have a person think that I’m smart or fun or funny than just pretty.

Of course, it’s always nice when someone actually thinks I’m pretty.

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