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Pastor Steve

July 24, 2009

My pastor rocks. He is sort of privvy to the relationship stuff I’ve been dealing with with the D-man and he called me today to see if I was doing okay. He was sweet and said they missed me in church last week. I missed me in church last week too.

I just don’t know if I can handle seeing him — Daniel, not Steve. What if he tries to talk to me. What if he ignores me. Either way it will upset me. Pastor Steve understands. Or at least he tried to. He gave me some great advice and a little bit of the standard pastor line.

Even though it was the standard stuff it was still nice.

“Don’t think about all that coulda, woulda shoulda stuff. Don’t second-guess yourself, Crystal.”

And stuff like, “things will work out” and “God has a plan.” All that good stuff.

It’s hard not to wonder — what if we aren’t following His plan? But I think Steve is right. It won’t do my any good to wonder that anyway. Too much looking backwards without a useful purpose.

I thought we were a good match, but I’ll never really know if I was right or worng. Cause it’s over. Really over. Yup, this is my “It’s really over” moment. They always happen to me long after the actual break-up. Usually when the guy starts dating someone new.

Well, if I hear about Daniel dating someone new I will probably have another moment then.

More crying. Oh man, haven’t I wasted enough tears on this careless man?

Well at least I have some good men in my life. Life my dad…and Pastor Steve…and Forrest — all of them telling me there’s someone out there. Isn’t that sweet? Even if it is just the standard line.

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