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Crystal, the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

July 26, 2009

For those of you who don’t know, I must admit that I am spectacular that elevating almost any moment into a high-drama situation. What can I say, I love theatre…and I’m a Scorpio…and, well I’m out of excuses. However, I have to tell you this talent for the dramatic was confirmed again last night. And the funniest part of it all? I thought I was behaving rather innocently.

Not so much.

I screwed up. I made contact again. Spare me the just ignore that Daniel exists comments. I know. I knew better, but, I dunno, I had a soft moment. After thinking about how — or if — I should respond to his last e-mail, I asked him to take down his blog containing our personal correspondences. I figured he would either oblige me or ignore me.

Not so much.

No, I was met with — what I perceived to be a snarky note full of thinly veiled condescension. Now, I’m not saying that’s what it was. That’s just how I felt when I read it. It felt like a dare, or something. I decided I didn’t want to fight so I attempted to withdraw — while at the same time trying to get a bit of a point across.

Well, I guess I didn’t get my point across — I just managed to piss him off. Ah, elevating the situation to high-drama and myself form the simple position of ex-girlfriend up to the lofty status of crazy ex-girlfriend. Another talent I seem to have every time I break up with someone.

I was really hoping to avoid this step this time around. Furthermore, I thought I was doing so rather successfully even with the little paperwork debacle a few weeks ago. But, last night I got it — the ‘you’re crazy’ e-mail from Daniel, complete with an actual “leave me alone.”

And to think, I’ve been agonizing all week over whether I should respond to his take on “God’s Power and Grace.” In fact, that preponderance is why I contacted him on Friday (via a short comment on his blog). I had even decided, after talking to Pastor Steve, that I should probably respond in some way. Some short, innocuous way that would give him no further emotional ammo to throw at me. But now there will be emotional ammo no matter what the content of a response.

So, all of this fresh, ridiculous drama unfolded last night while I was at work — probably because I was at work. I wasn’t thinking things through completely. I was sort of distracted, what with helping put together the Sunday paper.

Well, that’s a new lesson learned.

Suffice it to say, I was pretty upset when I got home. I called my sister and I cried. I can’t believe I let it come to this again — meet Crystal, the crazy ex-girlfriend. I guess no matter what, exes just make us crazy. But I was hoping for better from myself this time. Although I don’t think I’ve ever had an ex actually tell me to leave him alone. I guess I’ve hit a new low — or a higher echelon in the annuls of crazy exes. What an honor.

This all feels like the uncomfortable scenes from the second-act twist of some cheesy RomCom. You know, those scenes that are totally ridiculous that have you almost screaming at the screen, “Talk to each other for goodness sake. Tell each other how you feel and smooth this all out!”

And I used to think such twists were so unrealistic.

The truth is, I really feel a sort of added pressure to mend things now that he’s moving away. Before I figured that it would eventually all smooth out no matter what. Now, it’s like it has to get fixed before he leaves or it will always be bad. And I hate that. I hate the idea of bad blood or hard feelings — or him thinking I’m crazy — being left in this rift between us. I really did want to be friends again someday.

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