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Fighting With the Boss

July 30, 2010

Sometimes I hate being a girl.

I just spend 15 minutes crying at my desk and in the bathroom trying to look like I haven’t been crying. Yeah, I look like I’ve been crying.

And the reason for my tears? I got into a fight with my boss.

Okay, maybe it was more of a disagreement. Yeah, that’s what it was. I didn’t intend to disagree. I generally try to be agreeable — especially with the boss. He’s a great boss and luckily we are normally on the same page. This morning I don’t think we were even in the same book.

I thought I was asking for something simple. He thought I was making a big deal about something small. And then I thought he was making a HUGE deal out of something simple. And it just escalated from there.

How about a re-cap (these are not direct quotes this is just a summation):

“Well why do you need that?” He asked.

“Because, that’s the way the system is set up.”

“But you can just do this…”

“No, the system is set up like this and if we don’t do this we will have problems.”

“Well how big are the problems really?”

“Big enough that it’s worth avoiding them.”

“But how big are they…how much time do you spend on them?”

“Why can’t we just avoid them?”

“Well why do we need to.”

“Because we can.”

I think I got as upset as I did because I was offended that he didn’t just accept my request. I wanted him to just trust me that I knew what I was talking about and I needed what I said I needed.

Maybe I’m just emotional cause I’m a girl. Maybe I’m extra emotional because of aunt Sylvia. Maybe I’ve just worked too many hours this week and I can’t handle the stress of all three of these jobs at once. Maybe I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast.

No matter why it happened it happened. And he seemed to think it was a bad thing that I was upset and he could tell that I was upset. And now I feel like he might not promote me because I got mad and didn’t successfully hide it. But I kind of don’t want to hide it. I mean a poker face is good if you’re playing poker, or if you’re involved in international espionage. But we’re talking about online advertising. What’s the big deal about people knowing I’m upset when I’m upset?

I guess if that’s what he wants for the position it’s better that I don’t get it. Although I usually can hide my ire. Today my skills are gone. I guess I should avoid him the rest of the day. Or, wait…should I go apologize now that he’s back from lunch. No, I should go eat lunch.

19 Comments leave one →
  1. Kris Frisk permalink
    July 30, 2010 1:25 pm

    keep your head up!


  2. Jerrod permalink
    July 30, 2010 2:58 pm

    Maybe it’s not that you got upset, but how upset you got. I’m not trying to say suck it up or anything but do you know why you cried over it? I know you didn’t quote the conversation but it seemed pretty low key as far as arguments go. If you want the promotion, I suggest apologizing. I know you were right but sometimes it’s what you gotta do. Not sure why someone in his position would be willing to break the rules. There’s a process for a reason, just like you said.


    • July 30, 2010 4:54 pm

      Thanks for the feedback. I have thought about it and I think I know why I got so upset. A combination of grief, over-work, lack of sleep and lack of food (plus maybe a twinge of PMS) led to me getting really emotional about it. Also, I didn’t cry until I was all alone. I know better than to cry in front of a man. They consider it either cheating or insanity. And I’m not insane and I don’t want to cheat.

      The convo just went on and on — that was the problem there.

      And, as far as the promotion goes, I just found out that he hired someone else yesterday. He also significantly changed the job and I don’t think I would have wanted it now.


  3. Daniel permalink
    July 30, 2010 4:32 pm

    What did you have for lunch?


    • July 30, 2010 5:00 pm

      A reuben and salad from the Firehouse. I actually had a date. I might write about it tomorrow. Not too good.


  4. Daniel permalink
    July 30, 2010 6:22 pm

    The food sounds ‘yummy’ Crystal. If the ‘not too good’ refers to the date, then I’m sorry to hear that. As you can probably tell, I stumbled across your writings today, so I apologize for the rash of comments. Do write. You’re a joy to read. 🙂


    • July 30, 2010 8:09 pm

      The food was ymmy. The date…yeah…not too good. he barely looked at me the entire time. I appreciate the comments. i do the same thing when I find a new blog. Comment, comment, comment!


  5. Daniel permalink
    July 30, 2010 8:30 pm

    I don’t get that. You’re drop dead gorgeous! NEXT! 😉


  6. Daniel permalink
    July 30, 2010 9:46 pm

    Well, I used to blog a lot myself. I posted mainly poetry and short stories that I would write. However, I never seemed to find an audience etc, so it kind of fell by the way side. Lately, I’ve been thinking about getting back into it again. I was checking out WordPress and your blog was listed there. I followed your smile. 🙂

    I would like to say fate and destiny; perhaps they still had a hand. 🙂


    • July 30, 2010 9:56 pm

      Fate, Destiny and Crytsal…I like it! I definitely think you should blog. I’ve decided it’s good for the soul. Mine is much happier when I get my ideas out into the universe. It’s funny…in the last month I have had 3 friends start up blogs because I made them read my blog!


  7. Daniel permalink
    July 30, 2010 11:13 pm

    I like it too! 🙂 It’s just a matter of finding the right avenue of expression.

    -There are no blank pages, only words waiting to be revealed.


  8. July 31, 2010 9:58 am

    Hang in there and remember this truth “at least you have a job”…..they are in high demand lately…


    • July 31, 2010 10:11 am

      Yes, I have a job and my boss let me know yesterday that he thinks I’m doing it very well. What a relief!


  9. theroguepoet permalink
    July 31, 2010 10:02 am

    Hi, this is Daniel. Apparently I must of dabbled in WordPress before. I just need to refresh my memory here and find my blog! lol


  10. themadjewess permalink
    August 4, 2010 9:46 am

    I am a tough non-nonsense gal, but I cried at work too–many times, under pressure.
    Its a girl thing.
    The way to overcome crying at work, is to get super angry at something. The adrenaline moves your brain in a different direction. You have to focus on something angry, b/c rarely does something ‘happy’ take you out of a crying moment, too big of a transition. Anger is the next level of emotion out of anger.

    Other than that, it is refreshing to see someone so honest.
    All the best, God Bless.


    • August 4, 2010 11:31 am

      Thanks for reading and for commenting — and THANKS for the compliment and the advice!


  11. themadjewess permalink
    August 4, 2010 9:47 am

    Oops! I meant that anger is the emotion that takes you out of sad or crying!


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