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Result of Date: Bored and Boring

August 1, 2010
 
 

I obviously think I'm cool. What? you don't think I'm cool too?

Well, another d-bag bites the dust.

On Friday I consented to lunching with another fella from PlentyofFish.com. We hadn’t e-mailed much, but his profile was more than 4 sentences and his e-mails were more than 2 sentences (all without glaring spelling or grammar errors I might add). Basically, he seemed okay — and honestly, I thought he was kinda cute — so, on Thursday, I gave him my cellie. By 10 p.m. I had forgotten all about it.

Then he texted me: “Hey it’s Jeremy. I just got home from dinner, what are you doing?”

Jeremy? Jeremy who?

Yeah, all the guys my age are named Jeremy. Could this be Jeremy in Oklahoma or Jeremy in Kentucky? Or maybe one of the 150 Jeremys I went to high school with?

Obviously, I figured it out; then I texted him a bit. It wasn’t incredible. But he said he was shy, so maybe he has to warm up first. He was really pretty sweet. I can’t say I wanted more from the texts. I honestly could have done with a bit less.

He busted out the sexy talk pretty quickly. I put a kibosh on that and moved on (of course I kept note of it — just in case. I don’t need another man who wants booty calls from me. I’m already fending off half a dozen of those.)

So, I shut down the texting about an hour later and went to bed.

Then at 7:30 the next morning he texted me again. “Good morning! Hope you have good day! ;)”

Isn’t that sweet? Yeah, that was the moment I realized that I not only dislike talking to cheerful morning people, I don’t like being texted by them either. Anyway, he texted and e-mailed me throughout the morning — he basically had the day off.

I, on the other hand, was having a bit of a mental breakdown at work — I really can’t be at that place for more than 40 hours a week or things go wrong. I go wrong. That, coupled with the loss of my aunt, had me sobbing in the ladies room before lunchtime. And in my emotional haze I agreed to meet Jeremy for lunch.

Mostly I said yes because I needed a break from the office and had decided to go to the Firehouse anyway — which is where he suggested we go. He asked me to meet him out front. Which really sucked, because I waited for at least 10 minutes and it was HOT.

So, as far as first meetings go this was already not going to go too well. I wasn’t all cuted up like I normally would be — in fact I had actually cried off all of my mascara due to my disagreement with the boss-man. But I decided not to be self-conscious. While I do want a fella to find me attractive I really think my best attributes far overshadow my physical ones.

So, he finally showed up. And, guess what he was driving…

A corvette. A silver one. A NEW one. God has GOT to be laughing at me about this.

So, Jeremy parked, got out of the car and walked toward me. I really do try not to make snap judgments, but again I immediately found myself thinking, “Oh, I know why this guy is single,” — cause he isn’t trying to date men.

He was incredibly effeminate. The female onlooker in this part of America probably would have thought I was lunching with my gay boyfriend.

But I soldiered on. It took a while, but we got seated and we got a good seat. I was hot, tired and fresh off a cry by the time we sat down. So I warned him that I might not be the most entertaining version of myself. He said that was fine and then avoided eye-contact with me for the next hour or so.

He did talk — a little. Enough to remark on the strapless top of the hostess as he eyed her walking through the restaurant and told me that he was hoping her shirt would fall off.

“Sorry, what can I say, I’m a single guy.” Which, I think is code for, I’m a d-bag.He also said that he was shy several times as I was trying to get him to talk, which I think is code for, I’m lazy and you need to entertain me.Oh, he also regaled me with his ideals and passions on politics, which were schizophrenic enough for me to think that he is a little crazy and/or stupid. I mean he was spouting all kinds of conservative ideals one second and then calling the republicans a-holes the next. Then saying he loved the democrats. Then saying he disagreed with al sort of Democrat ideals and policies.

I tried not to talk much during that part.

By the time lunch was over I was relieved to go back to my office — where I thought my boss was mad at me. Yeah, this was another date gone wrong. The bottom line is, he didn’t really have much to talk about and he didn’t have much he wanted me to talk about — besides sex, and I’ve been told to avoid that one the first date. (that was me being sarcastic by the way.) Besides, when it comes to sex I like men, not gay men or women.

Really, he seems like a nice enough guy that I wouldn’t mind being his friend, but boyfriend, no way. This guy is bored and boring. I don’t have the energy to be someone’s entertainment unless I love them (that’s right, Dee I’ll entertain you for free — and of course all my other tight pals!) or they are paying me.

This may sound stuck-up, but why is it so hard to find a guy who is my emotional and intellectual equal?

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. Molly permalink
    August 1, 2010 12:16 pm

    Hey Crystal,

    I love your writing. I had to laugh out loud because it’s so true that all single guys in this town are named Jeremy. His comment about the hostess — revolting. I think any guy who doesn’t tune in to you completely during even a casual lunch date isn’t worth your time. Unfortunately the only way you’re going to find out who truly is worth your time is by weeding men out through more dates. It’s a crazy and often unsatisfying cycle, isn’t it? I believe there will be someone who comes along who will “wow” you, so I commend you for continuing to put yourself out there to find love and happiness. Thanks for turning me on to your blog. I look forward to reading more about your life.

    Love to you.

    Molly

    Like

    • August 1, 2010 1:02 pm

      Oh! I love you too babe! I will keep going on dates. Hopefully the results will be positive — but even if they aren’t I hope they can at least be funny.

      Like

  2. Bentinho permalink
    August 1, 2010 12:51 pm

    Hey Crystal,

    As always, I enjoy your writings. They are easy to pick up and they are a very pleasant read altogether :).

    I will take the liberty to answering your question:

    “This may sound stuck-up, but why is it so hard to find a guy who is my emotional and intellectual equal?”

    Throughout your blog posts, I sense an overall sort of cynicism which only makes your posts all the more fun to read. It’s kind of engrained into your style, it seems to me. Which is great, it really is. However, when it comes to allowing the proper circumstances to surface for you in your personal life, it is my experience that you need a different expectation, a different attitude and energy. If you want to attract what you really want, I suggest you try to shake yourself of the cynicism (even though there’s nothing wrong with it, it just doesn’t a really good job at creating positive circumstances).

    What’s important is to clearly know what you want. Do you really want a relationship at this point? If so, then imagine the kind of relationship and the kinda guy you would be really happy with meeting up with and being with, spending time with and eventually becoming a girlfriend of. Imagine the feeling you’d have if you were to be with a guy who is your emotional and intellectual match and who really likes you in return. How would YOU feel? Feel that feeling clearly. Trust in that feeling and remember it throughout your days. it will change your energy and create different circumstances.

    Secondly, you can try to shake all past experiences which has probably led to your sarcasm/cynicism when it comes to meeting guys through these on-line dating services. You’ve already been let down several times, and the overall guys that you correspond with, if even only one line, are also little promising. Thus, you start every new date with an underlying sense of cynicism, could this be the case? This ‘energy’ might be sabotaging the success you actually desire.

    So in order to allow the right guy to surface, which is a piece of cake of your really want it and belief it can, then that’s all that is required:

    1) Be really really clear for yourself what you really want. Do you actually want to be in a relationship at the moment? Truly? Search your feelings if you want. For if you don’t want to be in a relationship, then one way or the other, you’ll sabotage every attempt anyway.

    2) If so, then imagine being very happy and in love with a guy that is your equal, your match, and imagine him being in love and really liking you as well. Feel how that feeling feels, know what kind of a guy it would be.

    3) Belief it will happen and be open. Start every date with a positive and wholly optimistic attitude. But also in between your dates remember this positive attitude. Don’t let old thoughts and past experiences touch your spiritedness, don’t let them drag your free positive spirit down. Maintain your sense of FUN. Even if the date sucks, just know in your heart you’ll have FUN with yourself. But don’t expect it to suck, just trust completely in the FUN feeling and in the feeling of being with someone you really like and who really likes you.

    Just a suggestion :).

    Much Love,
    Bentinho.

    Like

    • August 1, 2010 1:00 pm

      Thank you for the love and thank you for the suggestion. I will defintitely use your insight.

      Like

  3. August 2, 2010 10:33 am

    Hi Crystal,
    I totally hear where you are coming from. Actually, my experience has been that there aren’t many winners on Plenty Of Fish (see a recent post I wrote about it http://simplysolo.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/plenty-of-fish-roundup/). Maybe you’ll find more success with paid matchmaking sites?

    I have to tell you that I LOLed at “He also said that he was shy several times as I was trying to get him to talk, which I think is code for, I’m lazy and you need to entertain me.” I’m so over the “I’m shy” excuse. It doesn’t mean that you necessarilyhave to be a poor conversationalist or not put effort in getting to know me. Come on.

    Keep writing – enjoying reading! Catherine

    Like

    • August 2, 2010 10:44 am

      Thanks for reading Catherine! I totally read your POF blog last week! I really enjoy reading about your recent dating experiences.

      Like

  4. August 2, 2010 2:10 pm

    Hi Crystal — Just think about all of the great writing material you’re getting from these dates…research, right?

    Thanks for stopping by wrinkledpages today, and for your, er…enthusiastic note 😉 Really, I appreicate it, and I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

    Like

  5. August 2, 2010 5:03 pm

    I’ve got single friends who feel the same way you do. POF seems to me (from hearing from others who’ve used it), like its more of a place guys go to see who is putting out.
    My hubby drives me nuts sometimes (as I’m sure I do him too) but hearing from my single friends & reading your blog makes me appreciate him all the more.
    When I met him, I was finally fine with being single. I really wasn’t even too interested at first.
    I think, as the old adage says, you will find your mate when you arent looking.

    Like

  6. RyanH permalink
    August 3, 2010 3:31 am

    Great stuff! I loled.. it was good times!

    Like

  7. August 5, 2010 10:17 am

    I went out with a guy I met on eHarmony and it ranks right up there with spending the evening cleaning an outhouse. He talked about himself and his ex-wife, ex-girlfriends, work, all his cars… basically that he was Mr. Perfect and I was lucky to be with him. Several times during the evening he said a variation of, “When I think about our date later and decide if I’m having a good time now, I’ll call you.”

    Apparently we both had a crappy time because he never called and I didn’t care. Isn’t dating the best?

    Like

  8. August 5, 2010 12:43 pm

    Guys to avoid #15798: The texting guys 🙂

    More than 4 messages in 48 hours = a harassment

    Like

    • August 5, 2010 12:56 pm

      I know…if a guy wants to talk much more than that why not just call? I don’t get it.

      Like

  9. August 16, 2010 9:26 am

    So funny! I too write about some of my online dates who i am convinced are gay! Take a look. Very funny. I also agree with thundercows, if you don’t know someone yet, there should be very little texting. If they want to get to know you they should call!

    Like

  10. August 16, 2010 12:40 pm

    I met someone online dating and we made a date and he cancelled. He sent me a text “what’s new in the life of Darcy these days?” Are you kidding me? I don’t know you. We aren’t friends. We have never spoken on the phone and you cancelled our date!

    Like

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