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Psychic Readings at Church Fellowship

August 9, 2010

So, I love my new church…errr…spiritual center.  It’s called Agape and it is fantastic for so many reasons. Yesterday it was fantastic because of the unexpected things that happen there.

Yesterday after service, during the mingling and such, I spoke with an amazing women who I have seen at the center a few times in the past weeks. At Wednesday’s “contemplation” someone mentioned that she is psychic. I was intrigued, so, I brought it up.

It turns out that she does numerology readings. She said she learned how to do it because she once went to a numerologist who told her more about her life than she even knew. And then she asked me when my birthday was…

She quickly did the math and said that my personal year number right now is 9. She also said that it is a “year of completion,” and it has something to do with what was going on in my life nine years ago.

Interesting, nine years ago was the year that I spent a summer as a youth pastor. That was the year that I quit going to BWC. That summer was the first time I drank enough alcohol to be affected by it and the first time I had a sexual encounter with someone I didn’t really know (which was also, subsequently, the first time I enjoyed having sex — but that might be too private to go into too much in this post). Which was also why I started thinking, “maybe I’m one of ‘those” ‘ind of girls.” Rather than the ‘sweet Christian girl’ I had been trying to be.

The psychic numerology lady said that the completion would be about learning a lot about myself and releasing a lot of things that started nine years ago, so that next year I could move forward and make some new starts. Sounds good.

It must be about accepting things too. Because that is a lot of what is going on with me lately. See, the truth is, I am one of ‘those’ kind of girls. But, I’m also a ‘sweet Christian girl’ — and a whole lot more (all in hooker heels from time to time too).

I’m so many things and being one thing does not preclude my ability to be another thing. The more I think about it, the more I see how limited people’s views often are — especially of me. Even smart people. I think our culture’s collective views of women are especially limited. We are either virgins or whores — there’s not much dealt with and touched on in between those two. All the stress is on one side of the spectrum or the other and people often file you (and by you, I mean me) into one category or another.

(In fact, a sweet man who I recently met on Plenty of Fish actually admitted to doing just that with me. He said he had a certain idea of who I was and what I was like — and then he saw my photos from Halloween.)

Anyway, a year of completion is exactly what this has been. I’m getting away from the traditional church and allowing myself to accept the things that I have been wondering about it (and the universe) for the past nine years. Ever since I realized that being a youth pastor wasn’t for me. That summer was the loneliest of my life. In effect I was all alone in a new place — not really getting along with the lead pastor — with no company except for six sixth grade girls and the one high school boy who were in the youth group. And they were great, but they weren’t my peers, and I only had so much to give them before I was all out and so alone.

Oh, there was a young college boy there too, and he was fun…and pretty…but that’s beside the point.

The point is, being there made me realize that youth ministry — at least in that form — was not for me.

So, if my numerology maven is right, next year is supposed to be a year of beginnings for me — and I’ve already planned a few of them. If things go well, I should be heading to grad school in a little over a year. If that happens I’ll be in a new place full of new people and possible new experience learning all sorts of new ideas. I’m so excited about the idea.

Also…I think I’ve decided to fall in love again. Hopefully for the last time.

But, I guess I have to do the work and complete this year first. I wonder what the Universe has left for me to get done so that I can start afresh next year. There are only a few months left…I hope I’m on the right track.

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. August 9, 2010 7:35 pm

    I am wondering, what sort of knowledge do you think this psychic reading actually imparted to you? What sort of guidance does the information, or at least the semblance of information, you received from the numerologist/psychic offer you?

    I am perplexed by this event because you obviously feel some level of personal edification but am incapable of seeing why exactly you feel this way. The information is very vague. Does the Universe care about you so much to give you a track? I know that sounds mean but if someone I knew was laying down beside a bear for comfort (for meaning?) shouldn’t I prod? The friend that is! How wicked of you to think I would prod the bear!

    I liked this sentence very much: “But, I guess I have to do the work and complete this year.” I didn’t like the ‘first’ on the end for obvious reasons but the work, yes, we must all work. Maybe with effectual work we can demand a track form the Universe, bring providence down on our heads.

    Permit me a quote and then you can be done with me.

    “Man is only a reed, the weakest in nature, but he is a thinking reed. There is no need for the whole universe to take up arms to crush him: a vapor, a drop of water is enough to kill him. But even if the universe were to crush him, man will still be nobler than his slayer, because he knows that he is dying and the advantage the universe has over him. The universe knows none of this.

    Thus all our dignity consists in thought. It is on thought that we must depend for our recovery, not in space and time, which we can never fill. Let us then strive to think well; that is the basic principle of our morality.” – Pascal

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    • August 10, 2010 8:54 am

      I don’t know if I would say that I gained any knowledge directly from the “psychic” reading. It just made me think, and I decided to share my thoughts. Any guidance I receive as a result of those thoughts comes pretty directly from me. Therefore I guess you could say that any edification comes from me as well.

      I believe in free will, Cole. I don’t believe that the Universe, or God, has me on a set path that I’m unable to deviate from. Even when Christianity was the only thing in my spiritual practice I was specifically Wesleyan — and free will is a big deal in their doctrine.

      And the first just means I have to finish this year before I start next year. And, just like you have to study first and then take your tests (in school and in life), I have to finish a few things up before I’m able to start anything new.

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  2. dave c permalink
    August 9, 2010 8:08 pm

    I’m trying to work a 69 joke in there somewhere, but it’s not coming for me.

    wait… I said ‘coming’.

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  3. August 9, 2010 9:54 pm

    It seems to me you probably are on the right track :). At least you are thinking about these things – so many people just go through life in a daze and never take a moment to think about the path they are on or if they are happy with the direction they are headed.

    I personally think it’s kinda funny you have a psychic at your church! I recently (half jokingly) suggsted that we should bring a psychic into work one day to read everyone’s palms/do tarot card readings. I was told by a few pretty religious people that they would find personal offense in that (even if it were for fun and there was no obligation to partake) and would consider it blasphemous. Guess that idea is out the window, huh?

    Good luck with your #9!! Catherine

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  4. Daniel permalink
    August 9, 2010 9:56 pm

    What strikes me the most about you; the feeling that to fall in love with you is something I believe one would want to do over and over and over and over again…

    Speaking of numbers…

    1+1=1

    🙂

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    • August 10, 2010 8:45 am

      I think in order to stay together a couple needs to fall in love over and over and over again…so I hope you’re right.

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  5. August 10, 2010 12:43 pm

    Interesting little writing about your day and what seems a flashback included. Nice observation for yourself. If writing this was your way of thinking in the moment to provide a little self direction, then you did a good job. Unlike others who might write a book in response, the small thoughts intertwined and somewhat vagueness of your words are fine. Professionally speaking, it is better at times to ponder than analyze.

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  6. Bob permalink
    August 10, 2010 1:27 pm

    Cole. The longest distance we know is from a persons mind to his heart. Everything we do is caused by our thoughts. If there is any thing else, it is man made. You are trying to get to far into your mind and forgetting your thoughts through your heart. Don’t try to outthink your heart and go with that.

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    • August 10, 2010 1:35 pm

      In his defense, people who are as incredibly smart as Cole is often use their brains to the detriment of the rest of themselves. In fact, I think the current culture in America encourages all people to only use one portion of who they are to the detriment of the rest of themselves.

      Like

  7. August 10, 2010 2:10 pm

    Once again, good job on the writing and you are welcome.

    Cole. Ponder. Don’t analyze. : )

    In defense of all we like to say, at least we are all thinking and appropriately using a platform to say it. Best of luck to all.

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  8. Mr. Prodg permalink
    August 11, 2010 3:10 pm

    interesting read. psychic @ church. cool.

    Like

  9. August 11, 2010 10:43 pm

    It’s Wednesday night and I was loaded down with worry about the coming Greek final. I called a friend in my class and we talked about the Greek for about ten minutes but, as is usual for us, slipped into an unrelated conversation. Tonight we talked for two hours, which is our normal length. He’s a wonderful thinker and flatters me with his time. At one point our conversation moved to writing and blogs. I told him how I read this blog and the comments coming from bob and mr. ‘publisher.’ With laughter in his voice John told me, “Cole, they make everything small. What can you do?” But whatever, “it’s cool” and that’s the bottom line, no?

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    • August 12, 2010 9:50 am

      As always, thank you for sharing, Cole. I don’t know Mr. Publisher personally, but I do know Bob and I must tell you he doesn’t make things small. He lives big and loves big. He’s a wonderful caring man and his comment came from a place of caring and love — as does most of who he is. However, I’m sorry it upset you.

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  10. August 13, 2010 3:26 pm

    So, I found your blog through comments on other ones, and stumbled across this post. Not to be too blog-stalkery, but . . . are you talking about Michael Beckwith’s Agape? Because I go there sometimes. (I found someplace similar closer to home, although I still make the 30-minute trek to Dr. Michael’s church on occasion. No one else quite compares.)

    Anyway, you’re welcome to check out my blog (which is updated sporadically these days), and if you decide I don’t seem scary, say hello! 🙂

    Like

    • August 13, 2010 4:10 pm

      The Agape I attend is sort of a child church of Michael Beckwith’s. I’m in SD so I’m way too far away to attend his church.

      Like

      • August 17, 2010 12:15 pm

        Oh, I gotcha. I had to ask; it’s not something I often see around the blog world! 🙂

        Like

  11. August 18, 2010 6:28 am

    I like your decision to fall in love. I think it has to be that clear. I decided that, at 30, in June and by November of that year met the man I married. (No, it didn’t last.) But the intentionality is worth exploring. I recently re-read some journal entries from that year and one really shocked me — I said I wanted to do something professional (and difficult) that was highly specific. Had no idea how it would happen. Then it did.

    Like

    • August 18, 2010 7:42 am

      I am actually working through a book called “Calling in the One” that is assisting me to accomplish those “intentional” things.

      Like

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