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Crush Confessions…

August 16, 2010

I‘ve seen a few of my crushes around town in the last few days. I haven’t talked to them or interacted with them in any way – I’ve just seen them. This, of course, has me fantasizing about talking to them. What would I say? How would they react to me? All the stuff that eventually becomes scenes in my fiction work.

In fact, I have written quite a lot about one of the guys. I met him a few years ago when I was the assistant director for a show he was directing. (An awful show, by the way, that I feel he did a horrible job of casting and directing.) I have practically a one-act play’s worth of made up dialogue between the two of us.

Something about him actually inspired me. Is that crazy? Well it’s pretty crazy considering the fact that I’m pretty sure he felt that I was completely ordinary. What a horrible thing to have someone think about you.

Well, since our time with the horrid play I’ve seen him a few times. Mostly with the inappropriately young woman he eventually married. But he still moves something in me. Something that wants to be seen – and be seen specifically by him for some reason. Maybe it’s the part of me that he inspires. Could it be possible that this man I barely know has the power to be a muse of mine?

Maybe I respect him and think him more than ordinary and that is why I want him to see the amazing elements of me. Maybe the guy just has charisma – and he does.

Anyway, what’s really interesting to me about seeing him yesterday at the movies is the fact that he was at a movie I would never imagine he would go to. See, he’s one of those artsy types that I always feel are looking down on popular culture and art (and me, really). But he was at the “Expendables.” I don’t know how much more pop culture you can get.

I was at the movies with my dad; otherwise I might have fumbled with an attempt at conversation with him. And subsequently felt stupid.

I also happened to notice that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring…but maybe I just dreamed that.

The other fella, I’ll call him Adam, is a guy I met in group therapy of all places. Is it wrong to dig on a guy you’re in counseling with? Well anyway Adam was single when we were in group together and I really wanted to get to know him, but it wasn’t that type of therapy and I haven’t really run into him in a social way that would have made it okay to get to know each other better.

Although, I have found out where he works. Don’t give me that look. I didn’t follow him around town or something. He wrote a column in a publication I designed and I found out that way. Jerks.

Anyway, I started feeling like he might be following me around town because in the past month I have seen him at two restaurants with a woman. So, I presume he was on a date. So he probably wasn’t following me.

What’s funny is, on Saturday when I saw him at Applebee’s his date was staring at me. Maybe she noticed me staring at him. I really do have a starting problem. I was looking at him like he was Viggo Mortensen or something.

Anyway, as a result of seeing both of these men this weekend I’m writing dialogue in my head. And as a result I imagined a lot of scenarios where one person confesses having a crush on another. And I now think I know what the absolute worst response is for a crush confession – aside from running away screaming or convulsing and nearly vomiting.

Okay so the worst “polite” response to a crush confession is to say, “I know.” Or maybe that’s just the worst response I’ve ever gotten. It’s smug, and hurtful. It’s kind of passive about it too.

Yes, I have confessed to people who I’ve had crushes on them. It usually doesn’t turn out too well. Because, of course, crushes aren’t reciprocated.

So, your turn to share. Have you ever confessed to a crush? Or have you perhaps been the confessor? Time to dish. What’s the worst response you’ve gotten – or given?

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. Suzanne permalink
    August 16, 2010 12:59 pm

    Oh my gosh – I love this post! I thought it was just me that did those kind of things!!

    I’m normally the confessor and it’s normally followed by a, awkward silence or b, laughter. Then it will end in being avoided and the friendship fizzling out….ah dating, how I love it!!

    Like

  2. August 17, 2010 12:12 am

    i loved your post…it was like talking to myself…
    i am this completely clumsy girl,but endup on the receiving end of the confessions…
    just recently, possibly the first time, i confessed of a crush,…thankfully got a ‘mutual’ response

    Like

  3. August 17, 2010 1:03 am

    I try to hold back on saying much b/c I just dread that silence or the “thanks so much, that is so sweet of you” reply.

    Like

  4. August 17, 2010 6:18 am

    Honey, that is why you’re a great writer – all that dialogue going on in your head!

    L

    Like

  5. August 18, 2010 1:01 pm

    LOVED this post. You are right, it would be terrible for someone to think you are just ordinary. Because do any of us really believe that we are just ordinary? Nothing special? I had a friend once that broke up with her boyfriend and he said, “You don’t love me anymore?” and she said, “I don’t love you. I don’t hate you. I nothing you.” She didn’t mean it in a hurtful way, it was just the truth. She felt nothing about him, and was ambivalent. I remember when I heard this, I was astonished at how hurtful that statement could be, and part of me secretly wanted to say it someone else someday that had done me wrong. Alas, I have not had the opportunity (or more accurately, I have had the opportunity, but not the guts).

    Once, there was this guy Sam that I was really into. Huge crush. We actually had kissed before, but he was with someone else. I was at a party and I really needed to talk to him about how I felt. Desperately. (I was drunk, OK? haha). I grabbed him and said, “Can I talk to you for a minute? Outside?” He looked me straight in the eyes and said no. No, I will not go outside to talk with you.

    Who the hell says no to that question? It’s like when you ask someone if they have a second and they say no. Who doesn’t have a second?? I was crushed. I was really ready to make my grand revelation to him that I was the one he should be with. He’s kinda a loser now, so in hindsight I’m better off, but man, that stung….

    Like

  6. August 19, 2010 9:49 am

    “I know.”

    Oh, no. Nuh uh. No way. The only person who can pull that line off successfully is Han Solo.

    Like

  7. Mr. Prodg permalink
    August 19, 2010 3:37 pm

    it’s really hard to confess especially for a man but i have tried it a few times and boy oh boy did it come back to hurt me…nowadays, i simply do it on my blog without mentioning anyone’s name…therefore i can’t get in trouble or get feelings all hurt.

    Like

    • August 19, 2010 3:55 pm

      I don’t buy the “especially for a man” stuff. If anything women are stigmatized much more in our society for pursuing the opposite sex in anyway.

      Like

  8. August 19, 2010 4:35 pm

    Love it, I’ve confessed before! xx

    Like

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