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The End of My Rope…

August 20, 2010

It’s official, I am currently at the end of my rope. Each time I pause for a few moments to think I start to weep. I’m tired, achy and my brain is full. I’m not complaining — I’m just saying.

Now I just need to hang on, grit my teeth and make it till the end of the day and the sweet respite of the weekend.

To top it all off, it’s like I’m at odds with myself. I’m so stressed that I’m having a hard time concentrating on the task in front of me. Instead of thinking about the things I’m working on my brain is poking me over and over and reminding me about all the other things I could be (maybe should be) doing instead.

I’m writing training material and my brain is saying, “you have an ad to place. hurry up and place that ad.”

So I stop and place the ad — even though I need to do the training material. Then I get back to the training bits and my brain starts spinning again.

“Crystal, you have to do a bunch of Brand Expand stuff. You have better get on that.”

“I’m doing this right now,” I tell myself. “I’ll do that next.”

“But what if you don’t get that done in time?” my brain prods, “You have to get this Brand Expand stuff started like yesterday!”

“I have a ton of stuff that I have to get started yesterday,” I say. “Now leave me alone so that I can get this done.”

I get a few more lines written in my training material and start to relax for a second. “Maybe I can get this done in the next 20 minutes and start on the Brand Expand stuff by noon,” I think.

“Oh yeah, and you have to do your personal evaluation today too!” My brain starts screaming. “That was supposed to be done 2 weeks ago! And you haven’t updated your blog in a couple of days and you should really take lunch soon because you’re hungry and you have to eat and I cannot believe you aren’t done with that training material yet, it should have only taken a few minutes. Plus, the sales staff needs you to run all kinds of numbers for them. You had better concentrate already!”

AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Don’t forget to breathe, Crystal.

And hang in there. It will be the end of the day soon. Oh hey, and you just finished the SEM training material. You should go to lunch and write a blog now. Relax. If it gets done it gets done and if it doesn’t…well, it doesn’t. You’re doing a good job. Your best in fact. It’s all going to be fine. And so it is.

Breathe.

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18 Comments leave one →
  1. The Weddington Adventures permalink
    August 20, 2010 12:38 pm

    Whew! Just reading your post made me exhausted!….sheeesh! You’re not alone in your quest for self discovery and doing the things you love rather than what you have to do. Those healthy thoughts are actually what keeps us moving forward. Just the idea alone. Whatever you’re reaching for, take it one day at a time and put in some work. In the meanwhile, you work the work. Don’t let the work work you:). Peace…with 2 fingers:))

    Like

  2. August 20, 2010 12:46 pm

    Someone once expressed to me, you are either in, out, or just ready to go into a crisis. What is it that you really want?

    Like

    • August 20, 2010 12:48 pm

      At the moment, I want a nap. I’ll think about my ultimate desires after work and get back to you.

      Like

      • August 20, 2010 1:23 pm

        At a Brass Conference and workshop a year ago, A well known orchestral trumpeter had to say about practice- there are four areas of work in practicing a wind instrument. Imagine four circles drawn within one another. The center o circle has the very things we can play well. The second circle outward has the things we can play with some challenge. The third has things that we can play; however, with difficulty. The fourth circle has within it the things that seem un-obtainable in performance. Which circle do you concentrate on for practice. The third. So, I ask you to think about this. Draw four circles. One within the other. You have a gift or talent you want to improve and apply, mark each circle with those things that are easy to obtainable and then on the last, very difficult. What is on the third ring. Try concentrating on this position. This might sound strange and could be made fun of. It does work.

        Like

  3. August 20, 2010 1:01 pm

    Yikes! Sorry to hear you’re having a stressful day. Does it help if you just keep saying to yourself, “it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday”?

    That usually helps me out. 🙂

    Hope your day gets better.

    Like

    • August 20, 2010 2:49 pm

      it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday it’s Friday…

      That feels a little better.

      Like

  4. August 20, 2010 3:04 pm

    This post made my brain just as jumbled as yours is! Like others have said: IT’S FRIDAY! Don’t stress yourself out too much; you get wrinkles.

    -Critic Monster http://criticmonster.wordpress.com/

    Like

  5. August 20, 2010 3:41 pm

    Good luck getting through everything. I know how that feels. The only thing that helps me feel better is thinking, will I remember on my deathbed that I missed this deadline or am I more likely to remember how friggin’ stressed I was all the time? Not saying it’s OK to miss deadlines or drop the ball, but sometimes it’s OK to give yourself a break. Think about what is going to matter 10, 20, 30 years from now… just a thought. Hope things calm down for ya!

    Like

    • August 20, 2010 3:44 pm

      Great though. Will it matter in ten years. I don’t think so. Ah. I feel much better now. Oh look…I get to go home in an hour!

      Like

  6. August 20, 2010 6:36 pm

    Was this the kind of week where you dream you’re at work? I hate weeks like that.

    Like

  7. August 20, 2010 9:53 pm

    God! You sure did have a stressful day! I wonder why weekends never come fast enough.

    Like

  8. August 21, 2010 12:03 am

    Catherine speaks very wise words…some things just dont matter.

    Like

  9. August 21, 2010 10:19 am

    On those weeks, I just breathe, put on some headphones and zone out for awhile. Can’t let the stress get to you.

    Like

  10. August 21, 2010 11:54 am

    Aw, I hate those days. But now it’s the weekend! Yay!

    Like

  11. Brandy permalink
    August 22, 2010 1:30 pm

    LIST – when my brain starts in on me I make a list then whenever it starts to scream I say “hey I know look it is in the list”!!!!!!

    Like

    • August 22, 2010 4:41 pm

      I often employ the list method myself. For some reason this week I felt too busy to make a list. Silly, eh?

      Like

  12. August 23, 2010 10:38 am

    I just found this site, great insights!

    Days like your last Friday are necessary for us to appreciate the simple, easy days we do come accross (not often enough), but you know what I’m talking about. The days where everything and everyone just clicks! Everything works and your feel unstoppable.
    When the stressful days hit me (more often than I like to admit), I think about how I feel on the awesome days! Some days it doesn’t do the job, but some days it’s exactly what I need! Enjoy this week!!!

    Like

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