I Miss My Bed…
Lately I miss it all day long. In fact, I miss it right at this moment.
The pillows surrounding me (I’m a pillow whore), the cold patches of the sheets touching my bare legs as I move around under my wadded-up blanket (I don’t make the bed — I don’t believe in it), the hum of my air conditioner in the window blowing cool air on my neck and face and just being.
Not thinking, not working, not worrying about anything. Just being.
It’s a good time. But lately I have been having a really hard time getting my silly butt out of bed in the morning. For the last two months or so it has seriously been a struggle of the will every time.
The alarm goes off, I reset it. It goes off again, I get up to pee and wonder if I can get away with a wash-cloth bath and wearing my hair in a pony tail. I go back to bed and reset the alarm.
It goes off again and I get up and grab breakfast. I head back to bed with my breakfast (or hit the couch), reset the alarm and fall asleep again once my breakfast is gone. Then the alarm goes off again and I hit snooze. As I drift back to sleep I do the math in my head, “if it take me 15 minutes to walk to work and 20 minutes to get dressed and clean then I can sleep in until…”
“Stupid alarm. Crap! I hate that thing. Man I have to get up NOW! What a sucky way to start my day. Where is my bra?”
This morning after a bit of this routine I started thinking, “Why do I hate getting out of bed lately? Why is it such a struggle every morning?”
- Is it because I stay up too late? I sure stayed up too late last night. I wanted to watch one more episode of “True Blood” before I went to sleep. (And then I wanted to watch one more…but I was strong and I turned the TV and DVD player off!) It was like 11:30 by the time I was completely unconscious. Stupid!
- Am I just anxious about Stargazer thinking I’m a bitch so I want to stay in bed and hide under the covers?
- Is is because I’m still a little sick? (Or hungover from Saturday night/Sunday morning. I know that sounds crazy, but if you knew about that night you would understand why I haven’t fully recovered. And no, I’m not going to talk about it — it’s too embarrassing.)
- Is it a because I didn’t sleep well while I was asleep last night? I have been having bad dreams more often lately.
- Am I just worn out from working too much overtime?
- Am I just overwhelmed at the prospect of getting everything ready to get to NYC in one piece?
- Or do I just not want to get up and face the day?
How about all of the above? At least a little bit of each one. We all know it’s true. Yuck.
I wonder what I can do to relieve my unwillingness to get out of bed. Maybe vacation will help.