Timelines and Observations
3:30 a.m. Woke up. Last night I remember thinking that I’ve never been east of the Mississippi river, By the end of the day I will have seen the Atlantic ocean!
3:35 a.m. Dressed and drinking a Dr. Pepper.
3:45 a.m. Leaving for the airport. I can’t believe how cold it is. If it were any colder it would be snowing instead of raining.
4:15 a.m. At the airport waiting to check bags. It doesn’t open until 4:30 a.m.
4:30 a.m. I am told that I have to electronically check my bag before I can go to the bag check counter. I have to wait for the bag-check machine to start-up. I’m informed that I have had an itinerary change and have to talk to a woman with an Indian accent who I can barely understand through my sleepy haze.
4:35 a.m. Thank goodness the girl behind me caught me before I went to the counter because I didn’t successfully finish my check in and I left my boarding passes on the machine. Note to self, don’t travel before 10 a.m. EVER.
4:45 a.m. Get to security gate. Bags successfully checked. But the gate is closed until 5 a.m. Why the crap did they tell me to get here one and a half to two hours early if I can’t physically check in at that time?
5 a.m. Hug mom goodbye and get in line for security.
5:10 a.m. Through security and forced to wait at the gate until 5:40 a.m. I wish I were on the plane sleeping.
5:15 a.m. While sitting at the gate, in an effort to stay awake, I try to read the book I brought with me and realize that I have already read it. Now I really want to get on the plane and go to sleep.
5:45 a.m. Have boarded plane and scrunched myself into the seat.
6 a.m. I have to verbally accept the responsibility of being on the emergency exit seat. I guess if we crash between Rapid and Denver I’m going to be responsible for everyone getting off the plane alive. Big responsibility. I don’t really want it. But the odds are I won’t have to do it. I say okay.
6:10 a.m. Takeoff. I love it. We get to the end of the runway. As the plan starts to pick up speed the rain on the windows of the plane starts streaming past. I want to sleep but I can’t stop looking out the window. I can feel the plane bank and rise. Amazing. We eventually break through the storm clouds and start flying above them. The clouds are beautiful below us. I need to sleep. But the sun is rising now. The clouds are periwinkle, orange, pink and yellow.
7:15 a.m. Arrive in Denver airport early. I must have slept a little bit. The man next to me slept the whole way and he didn’t talk to me once. I guess he could tell that I didn’t want to talk. Wow — my vacation has just started and I’ve already slept with a guy.
7:16 a.m. Man I have to pee.
7:20 a.m. Urination complete. While in the bathroom I see a woman in a full-length fur coat, black sparkly tank top and thigh-high leather boots. They are grommetted high heels. I think I recognize them from the last Vicki’s catalogue.
7:22 a.m. I’m a little disappointed that I’m not more excited about having completed this part of my trip. But I’ve been here before. I used to live in Denver. It’s not that big of a milestone.
7:25 a.m. Find out what gate my next flight is at. I decide to walk to the gate. On the walk I see a man with a guitar and a man with a skateboard. Those must be the personal item they decided to travel with (I picked my purse). The guitar I kind of understand. But the skateboard? What kind of fella has to have his skateboard with him everywhere? Is he a pro boarder?
7:45 a.m. The gate is further away than I thought it would be. Although I am able to buy a book and an Egg McMuffin on the way to the gate. Once at the gate I have to eat my Egg McMuffin while standing in line to board because it took me so long to walk.
8:18 a.m. I’m on board, but they are out of room in the overhead bins for carry-on luggage. I’m glad I got mine stowed first. How did they run out of room? People must not be obeying the rules about how big their luggage is allowed to be. I did obey the rules so it makes me mad that the people who didn’t get away with it.
8:21 a.m. Second takeoff. It is also awesome. I love feeling the plane move.
9 a.m. As I look down over the patchwork scenery I can’t help but wonder where we are. What part of America am I looking down on?
10:04 a.m. I wonder if we’ve crossed the Mississippi River yet.
10:20 a.m. I clearly picked the wrong bra to fly in. I am totally uncomfortable.
10:30 a.m. I am officially unable to breathe because the douche-y guy in front of me like bathed in some kind of cheap cologne. I am too tired to read the book I bought at the Denver Airport, so I’m just going to watch the in-flight movie.
10:51 a.m. The in-flight movie is over and my back really hurts. The head rest on this stupid seat is pushing my head forward and making me slouch and it is making my back and shoulders hurt.
10:59 a.m. Bad turbulence. I open the window and look outside. What town is that?
12:00 p.m./2 p.m. Landed in La Guardia — early. My phone knows what time it is here and my computer knows what time it is in RC. I thought the time change would be 3 hours. Guess not.
2:10 p.m. Made it to United baggage claim and claimed my bags. La Guardia kind of smells like garlic. Which makes it occur to me that the Denver airport smelled like plastic and glue. I’m hungry.
2:17 p.m. Called Tanya. No answer. Left message. I wonder how she’s gonna find me when she gets here.
2:18 p.m. Texted Tanya. Something smells like a foot…or BO.
2:19 p.m. Oh, I smell like BO. At least it’s mild. If I can’t smell it all the time what are the odds that someone else can smell it?
2:25 p.m. Got nervous that Tanya wasn’t at the airport or answering her phone.
2:27 p.m. Got a text from Tanya. She’s almost to the airport. I won’t spend my whole vacation at the airport — hooray!
So the adventure begins!