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I Miss Me…

November 23, 2010

Have you missed me?

I’ve missed me too.

Where did I go?

Well, as far as my blog is concerned, the truth is, I’ve gotten lazy in my personal life. In an interesting twist, I have also gotten much more ‘on the ball’ in my professional life. I have eliminated checking my blog – or even writing for it – during my breaks at work. I found (and so did my boss, actually) that it is very difficult for me to stick to the assigned amount of break time that I have here at work when I try to use those break times for blog stuff – or really anything personal online.

Yeah, I got talked to…again.

But, I also got the Internet installed at home about a week and a half ago. So I thought I would be a blogging, Facebooking, NaNoWriMo madwoman. Not so much. I mean I have done more on Facebook. But I still find it difficult to get any substantial ‘work’ done while I’m at home. I have found myself simply surfing the web or bugging my friends who are on Facebook. (And now I must apologize to all of you who didn’t really want to IM with me, but were pestered by me anyway. I’ve done what I always seem to do with a new toy – I’ve abused it a bit.)

And let us not forget the power and attraction of Hulu. Yeah. I’ve been watching far too much TV on my computer. (Is it really TV if it’s on your computer?) I have a great excuse for that though. There are three shows I try not to miss and during those three shows my sister, Kendra or Dee always want to talk to me. Great excuse, right? I mean, what kind of a person would I be if I passed on a conversation with my besties because a TV show is on? Not a very good one in my opinion – or at least not one with very good priorities.

Speaking of priorities…I wish I could say that I’ve been spending all the time I haven’t been blogging doing something productive. Like, oh, I don’t know – preparing graduate school applications or working on the book I started in September. But, no.

In fact, I still don’t even have 20 pages of clean prose to submit with my grad school applications. Not prose I’m proud of anyway. And to top it off all my new stuff is memoir-type stuff. It must be because of my journalism background and all the years of writing this blog. And even though I keep telling myself that if I don’t get accepted this year it’s fine, I still have that perfectionist thing within me that doesn’t want to send in an app that isn’t amazing. Cause mediocre probably won’t get me accepted.

So I have done almost nothing. Awesome. But then, maybe something I think is mediocre is actually amazing – or at least shows my potential.

I guess that’s what I’m really hoping for. I just want the schools to be able to see that there is something within me that their programs can foster.  That I’m good but with a little help I can be great. And they want to be the one who makes me great. Yeah…that’s what I want them to see when they read my applications. My potential for growth.

I only have a week left until one of the deadlines and I am not feeling too confident about making it – especially since I will have family in town starting tomorrow night. So, maybe the University of Minnesota is just not my school. There are plenty of others — and they will all give me until Dec. 31 to apply.

Anyway…obviously, I don’t have much of a point. I just missed me. And I missed all of you.




8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 23, 2010 12:33 pm

    Hey Crystal, not sure what you’re waiting for on the grad school apps, or why you’re worried if they’ll be good enough. Who gives a rip what they think? If you can face the fact that you’d probably never be fully satisfied with them even if they were finished isn’t that enough to motivate you to the satisfaction of having them completed?

    I suppose in the end it all comes down to your decision to JUST GET IT DONE. That way you can stop TALKING about getting it done (or not getting it done for that matter) so all of us can get back to reading your more interesting stuff! You know, the honest stuff that provokes thought and challenges people? Or, maybe you forgot how to do that? ;^)

    This isn’t me being a jerk, this is me administering a friendly kick in the pants.


    • November 23, 2010 2:45 pm

      Thank you for the kick.


    • November 24, 2010 5:45 pm

      I’m backing Eric.

      I’ve seen too many people stress about this stuff and put all kinds of time into it rather than just doing it, sending it and being done with it.

      Do it, abandon it, spend all day devoted to it but don’t let it eat you alive or get in the way of the rest of your life.


      • November 25, 2010 5:36 pm

        Thanks, Matt. I spent a couple of hours on it today. I feel pretty good — although rather drained — about it.


  2. Becky permalink
    November 23, 2010 1:33 pm

    I really missed you to don’t stop blogging I know that school is always important but I’ve been blogging for years and can’t seem to get many readers, quite a few hits but never any comments NO subscriptions oh well I just want you to know that you have a great thing here I’ve never been a jealous type but envious I am keep blogging whenever I see an email from you I get excited Good Luck @ school I wish you the best I can’t speak for everyone but I pretty sure that we all missed you too



  3. November 23, 2010 1:36 pm

    I wanted to leave you my blog just in case I’m not sure if you’ll find it interesting its about my husbands collision shop. I started it so if anyone wanted to look at our work they could. I’m not sure if cars, or body work is your thing you may find some of it interesting



  4. Brandy permalink
    November 23, 2010 10:00 pm

    Don’t let yourself off that easy – I say still try to make the deadline. Sending in your mediocre is better then nothing right? I only say this because I know what kind of an amazing women you are and that you can do it. It can be hard but going for our dreams is never support to be simple (Otherwise would really be worth doing).


  5. November 27, 2010 10:24 am

    TV is short for television yet we call the programing we watch TV. So I think we should start calling any programing we watch on our computer PC. As in “Sully went home to watch some PC.”


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