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Life Maintenance: An Oil Change for my Brain

December 3, 2010

In about 15 minutes I’m off to do some life maintenance. I have a counseling appointment. And boy do I need one this week. If I ever needed to change the oil in my brain or rotate the tires in my soul this is the week. (It’s obvious from reading my last two posts, right?)

I don’t even know where to start with the doc today.  The job thing? That’s probably the most obvious thing. But I also know I wouldn’t feel this way about it if there wasn’t something else going on too. Maybe I’m just antsy in general. I know part of it is the season. Last year at this time I was starting in a new department and my boyfriend that I was ridiculously smitten with had just dumped me rather out of the blue.

I wonder if I have some sort of psychic hangover about that. This time last year really sucked. But this time the year before was really amazing. Hum. Funny how we always seem more affected by the bad things. Why is that?

Maybe I can ask my counselor during the check up.

Maybe I’ll just go cry in her office for an hour. And then — if I can get through the afternoon at work without too much hassle — I will have the whole weekend to recover.

To recover and get some other life maintenance done.

Do you eve go through the checklist building up in your brain of things you need to do or accomplish and feel crazy overwhelmed? Dishes, Laundry, Pay Bills, Grocery Shopping, Clean Bathroom, Clean Out Fridge, College Applications, Blog, Outline Novel, Interview People for Biography, Hang out with Friends and Family… check out from life and slip into a coma.

Yeah, I need fresh oil if I’m going to get any of that done this weekend. So, I’m off.

Happy weekend to all of you. Please feel free to share what sorts of things you all do to change your oil.

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. December 3, 2010 10:54 am

    Yeah, lube is always good.

    Like

  2. Just Saying permalink
    December 3, 2010 11:09 am

    Good for you for knowing you need this mental oil change!
    You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for in this blog. 🙂

    The build up is a cycle. Doesn’t how abreast you are of bills, chores etc, one day you turn around and WHAM, you’ve overdue on bills, laundry and chores etc. It’s just the universes way of keeping you on your toes and keeping you from getting too comfortable.

    I’m a strong believer in the universe only gives you what you can handle-ish.
    Like when you hit a plateau at the gym. The trainer gives you a little more to push through, and you hate him, it, the gym, everything… a week or so later, it doesn’t seem that bad, cos you’ve adjusted and once again you’re managing everything that was put on your plate.

    Give yourself permission to drink a bottle of wine, throw yourself on the floor and sob like a child. Stress cries help rid your mind of all the gray matter or that tangled ball of thoughts and let you see more clearly.

    Much love and understanding xo

    Like

    • December 3, 2010 12:52 pm

      Just got back and I feel much better. Although I am going to need the respite this weekend will provide.

      Like

  3. December 3, 2010 4:23 pm

    Well, you’re definitely a writer… Counseling is good. As is Zoloft. At least, in my experience it is. And I looked for work at a Dunkin’ Donuts, where I was told – literally – a monkey could do the work, since it was all pushing buttons, and yet I didn’t get it. You, like me, may be that accursed word “Over-qualified.” Meh indeed!

    Like

  4. December 4, 2010 6:58 am

    It’s too easy to feel like the administrator of some banana republic country where nothing works properly.

    I take hooky days (self employment allows for more of that.) Just do exactly — and ONLY — what you want to do for a few days. Leave everything (short of bills) else and indulge yourself. I find that when I feel deprived I get cranky and when you do all the shoulds and none of the wants, this happens. Whatever makes you really happy, do it, and lots of it. (Preferably not drugs or insane amounts of food or alcohol.) Movies (see 3 in a row) or pedicure or a museum or talking to 4 of your best friends all day Sunday…

    You not liking your job is a major part of this, I suspect. In times I’ve had crappy jobs it leaks into the rest of your life.

    Like

  5. December 7, 2010 2:14 pm

    Very good and well thought out post Crystal, good read.

    Like

  6. December 7, 2010 9:39 pm

    I always need a good cry for my oil change. And I mean not just a few tears, but an all out ugly sobbing cry. Then, wash my face. Reapply makeup. Start over.

    Like

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