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Maybe We ARE All Crazy (F*$% Eve)

December 4, 2010
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It looks like it was all just my hormones — dammit.

For the past week I’ve been up and down, excited and downright depressed. I was ready to quit my job and be come a waitress one day and the next I almost hugged everyone in my office. And you know what, I finally figured out what the problem was: I’m a girl.

That’s right, yesterday afternoon the source of my trials was revealed when went to the ladies room for like the fifth time in two hours and as I was finishing up in the stall there it was…a red streak. I had gotten my period.

What a relief. I wasn’t insane. I wasn’t borderline suicidal. I was just hormonal. Every now and then (maybe a few months each year) I have this revelation. But for some reason it doesn’t occur to me during the crazy days that the issue might be my hormones.

Sometimes it sucks being a girl. And I wonder why.

I mean I believe in God and I believe in a benevolent creator-God. What I don’t buy is the Church’s explanation for all of this. I don’t think God would screw all us women over just because Eve f-ed up. Especially since God came down harder on Adam in the same story but didn’t punish him the same way.

Anyway, I think God does stuff for a reason. Especially stuff like this that applies to over half of all humans. So I wonder what is the point of PMS? I tend the think that a lot of the things God did with gender are to teach men about part of his character through the availability of femininity and vice versa.

But I have a hard time believing that having PMS is a God-like trait. Maybe the overwhelming and incomprehensible intensity of it all is the lesson. I mean I’m a really smart person, but when my hormones are raging I am insane. My mind has no control — it’s all emotion. It’s bigger than me and I don’t completely understand it.

Kind of like how God is bigger than me and I don’t quite understand.

So maybe those are God’s emotions and I get to experience them from time to time. Well even if that’s the case it’s far too much for me to have to deal with more than once or twice  a year. I’m glad I don’t get PMS every month — and I’m glad I’m not a god.

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. December 4, 2010 11:36 am

    Yes and us poor guys have to live with the effects.
    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

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    • December 6, 2010 12:14 pm

      Every now and then I feel out of control and a little insane and you “poor guys” have to watch. You’re right I should feel so sorry for you. WTF?

      Like

  2. December 6, 2010 7:57 pm

    I know that it is not comfortable for you but believe me it is very uncomfortable to be on the recieving end when the crazies begin. Invariably the crazies end up attacking us guys unfairly and yes you should feel sorry for us, without it you are a completely insensitive jerk. Here ia a news flash; men have feelings too. We might not be as open with them as women bu we have them as well and while we are trained to show hurt, it still hurts inside.

    Just saying

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  3. December 6, 2010 7:58 pm

    not to show hurt

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  4. Jacqui permalink
    December 7, 2010 4:19 am

    Sorry Sweetie… I used to have horrible PMS every month – and I DID feel sorry for the men it affected. . . AND the women!

    Not all women experience PMS as depression or act just slightly frenetic… some of us get WAY out of hand.

    I once threw a can of grapefruit juice at a worker in the hospital cafeteria because they didn’t have apple juice! (It made the most horrible thunking sound when it hit her.)
    :-O

    “WTF?!” I screamed at her. “Prune juice, tomato juice, grapefruit juice, V8! No one drinks this *#%t!” then . . . wait for it . . . THUNK! (I can still hear that sound in my head and it was over 25 years ago!)

    Calmly, I picked up my tray, scooted to the register and paid for my eggs and toast and coffee and walked into a totally silent cafeteria. Everyone had heard my tirade and was afraid to say or do anything else that might set off my grapefruit juice throwing impulse again!

    From a medical standpoint – it’s not just hormones – but the effect of the hormones on our bodies that causes for one thing: fluid retention. Often, women who have increased PMS symptoms in the form of behavior outbursts, have a sudden increase in fluid retention that causes pressure on the brain, which results oftentimes in behavior outbursts of one sort or another. Treatment (in my case) was a mild diuretic daily for the week before a period is expected. It worked wonders for me, and my fellow co-workers were relieved as well. Especially that poor lady in the cafeteria, who I’m SURE I still owe an apology!

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    • December 7, 2010 8:14 am

      I’m still incredibly offended that this guy didn’t express any sympathy for the women who have to go through this though. He went straight to “poor guys.” Really? “Poor you, you have to watch me feel insane. I’m just feeling like I no longer know anything about my life, who I am or how anything works. That’s nothing compared to what you have to go through watching it.” (And that’s just for the guys who even notice that anything is different.)

      Of course, I’m very sorry you ever had to go through anything like that!

      But this guy is still a.) missing the whole point of my blog which I find incredibly insulting and b.) turning the situation around on women and telling us we should additionally feel sorry for all the people around us — especially the men — when we already don’t have control of themselves in these cases. That is incredibly insensitive and offensive.

      Furthermore, none of the men in my life suffered last week while I was borderline suicidal. And if I had had a significant other last week the only thing he would have suffered was a few tears. Anyone who couldn’t handle that shouldn’t be in a relationship. All I needed from anyone was to listen to me cry a bit and for a few pep talks. My mom did a great job at both.

      Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for empathy for others when it comes to how they may be affected by me and my actions. In fact, I know it’s hard for my mother to listen to me cry and I did kind of feel bad about calling her up and bawling once last week. But I couldn’t stop myself. And that’s the point. I didn’t intend to cry. I called to tell her something and suddenly I was snotting all over my phone.

      So, feeling sorry for others — especially men who don’t have to go through what I’m dealing with — when I’m already out of control despite trying to stay sane?! Seriously?!

      RIDICULOUS!

      Like

      • John Wilder permalink
        December 8, 2010 9:00 am

        Crystal, I gave an understanding of what you were going through. And I can appreciate that you don’t beoome abusive, but a lot of women do become verbally and sometimes even physcially abusive during PMS.

        I validated your feelings and you are doing your best to invalidate MY feelings which proves that you are guilty of what you accuse me of being utterly INSENSITIVE and narcissistic.
        John Wilder

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        • December 8, 2010 9:22 am

          A.) Initially you did not provide any understanding. You just said “us poor guys have to live with the effects.”

          B.) Suggesting that anyone should feel bad for the people around them when he/she is suffering intensely is ridiculous. It’s tantamount to telling someone who has been shot that he/she should feel bad for the people around him/her who have to watch him/her bleed.

          C.) There was no talk of abuse prior you suggesting that women should feel sorry for men. In fact, no tangible interaction with other people was mentioned for a moment. My blog was all about internal struggles and ideas and you suggested that I (women) should feel sorry for others (men) because of my (our) internal struggles. Whether that was your intent or not, that is what your words did because there was no mention of interaction prior to your comment.

          Furthermore, however you feel about all of this I think you’re wrong, John. Not necessarily your feelings, but certainly your conclusion. When women are going through PMS, or pregnancy, or menopause (or when any person is going through a horrifying emotional moment) there is no reason to feel sorry for the men (or people) around them. And honestly, I’m kind of appalled that you call yourself a marriage coach and you can’t see how rude and destructive that idea is.

          I appreciate you reading my blog and commenting and I hope you continue to do so, but on this bit I cannot budge. Your suggestion that men are the ones who should be pitied in this situation is ridiculous.

          Like

  5. Nathan permalink
    December 7, 2010 8:31 am

    Crystal,
    I dated a girl once who told me that it was not right for girls to blame their terrible/crazy/insane/unkind actions on PMS. She thought that it was something that was used as an excuse to act poorly. I have no idea how badly PMS affects women, since I am a guy, but I thought it incredibly respectable for her to say that. I do sympathize with you, but we are all created as emotional beings and, just like my former gf, we can either master those emotions or let them master us. Sometimes I master my emotions and sometimes they master me. It’s still a choice I make (and one many women make as well) as a human.
    Sincerely,
    Nathan

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    • December 7, 2010 9:12 am

      Nate, If you will re-read what I wrote, you will see that I am not blaming any bad behavior on my emotions or my hormones — let alone any “terrible/crazy/insane/unkind actions.” Nor am I trying to excuse any committed by myself or the women around me because of PMS. (Although if I were to witness something like my dear friend Jacqui experienced I think my first response would be sympathy and if I had known her at the time and been there when that happened I think i would have run over to give her a hug — even if she wound up throwing juice at me for it.)

      I think you’re putting what I have said into a broader context if ideas and emotions than I have placed it in. You’re ascribing bad behavior to me that did not happen. As I said, none of the people in my life — especially the men — suffered because I was suffering. Beyond that you’re also putting parts of it into a smaller context than I have placed it in. This is something that happens to all women and I feel that you are still with Mr. Marriage coach in saying that women (who are over half of the population) should cater to men when it comes to something that happens naturally and without our choice or control.

      Who’s being narcissistic now? Or maybe it’s just mildly misogynistic.

      Furthermore, as far as the idea that “we can either master those emotions or let them master us” — I completely disagree in every way. Emotions do not need to be mastered. That’s not what they are for. Sometimes they don’t even need to be reacted to. They just need to be felt. And just because I can’t control my emotions does NOT mean they master me.

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  6. Nathan permalink
    December 7, 2010 9:32 am

    I did re-read your post. And, if you will re-read my comment you will see I am merely saying what my former gf has said on the subject. In no way did I ascribe bad behavior to you. I was simply stating what a girl has said on the subject, since in many ways I am unqualified to make a judgment on this particular subject. However, I am supremely qualified to make a judgment on the way that we, as humans, respond to our emotions.
    I agree that emotions should be felt as that is the beauty (both good & bad) of emotions. I do not, however, believe that emotions should be trusted. For instance, you said you felt insane and borderline suicidal. Those are real feelings and ok to feel. But, then you realized that they were not really who you are at all, but instead the result of biological cycles. You realized that your feelings are just feelings and were not really the reality of things. I would hope that you would want to be in control of your whole self including your emotions. Perhaps the use of the word “master” struck a nerve with you, but I think your original posting showed an example emotional mastery (excuse the use of the word “mastery”).

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    • December 7, 2010 10:22 am

      Responding to the post with the example from you ex-girlfriend did imply to me that you felt I was using my emotions/hormones as an excuse. Honestly, the worst thing I do as a rash emotional reaction to things is usually to post a blog, or say something dumb. But I’m very good at apologies and my friends and family are all understanding folks.

      I guess I do dislike the use of the word mastery. It implies control in a negative way. And I don’t think we need to be either in control or controlled by the tings in our lives. There are a lot more options than that. I really didn’t have any control over how I was feeling and I was able to refrain from acting on those emotions. But another couple of days like that and I would have quit my job — or started calling in sick for days at a time.

      Like

      • Nathan permalink
        December 7, 2010 10:49 am

        Thanks for your response. I appreciate your blogs and your provocative words. I have been at the proverbial “end of my rope” many times in my life due to my emotions. Though I have never had PMS, I have had many of those emotions at stressful times in my life. I wallowed in my feelings, tried to make myself busy, tried alcohol, pornography and many other things to deal with my emotional distress. I even went so far as to find a rope and begin planning my physical demise. The only thing that saved me from those negative emotions was when I talked to God and invited His help. I also read the words of David in the Psalms. He was an emotional basketcase (not that there’s anything wrong with that) throughout his life, and yet he always came back to the truth and the intellectual reality of things – that God is always with him, loves him unfailingly, and has offered him salvation. If you are interested you should read Psalm 13. It’s a great example of a real man dealing with real emotions, and ultimately resigning himself to the real God of reality. But, I won’t be offended if you decide not to check it out. Maybe you don’t “feel” like reading the Bible :)…

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        • December 7, 2010 10:59 am

          King David the emotional basket case…word.

          I’m sure I’ve read Psalm 13 a million times. I used to read a proverb and several psalms a day. I have a lot of it memorized and it just pops out of my mouth from time to time. Not that I usually know the scripture reference. Although Romans 8:28 and Psalm 8 pop out of my mouth a lot. So much so in fact that my friends were quoting them to me last week. All things work together for good. Not one thing, not some things — ALL things. Dee reminded me of that one last Wednesday. She’s amazing.

          Like

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