Skip to content

What Exactly Are Your Intentions?

January 19, 2011
woman jumping in her living room

My life has become so incredible in the past few years. I certainly intend to be jumping for joy by the end of next year.

“Well, I’ll see you next year,” my counsellor said on Christmas Eve. “You know, I  don’t really believe in resolutions. But I’d like you to set some intentions. Next time we will talk about where you want to be by this time next year. Where do you see yourself?”

I saw her this past Friday and we talked a little bit about my intentions. We didn’t get too far because I haven’t decided too many things. First of all I’ll be in graduate school by then. So there’s that. In fact, by Christmas Eve 2011 I will have finished my first semester of graduate school.

I will be teaching for the school — wherever I am — and I might even have a little part-time job as well. I imagine myself having a fun little apartment close to campus. I will probably have a pack of new friends and I would like to be in a promising relationship with a man who is my equal and a potential partner.

I’d like to be beginning negotiations for the sale of one of my books (maybe the one I just started writing this month). I also plan to have won several writing contests by then — I’ve already started working on submissions for a few contests.

I’d also like to be thinner. That’s the part that my counsellor latched onto a bit. She was very supportive of the other bits too, of course. In fact, she was rather certain all of those other things would come true. But she pinned me down on my vision for my body (mostly because I was clearly emotional about it I think).

“How much do you want to weigh?”

I hemmed, I hawed…she kept pressing…

“You have to be able to imagine yourself the size you want to be.”

Okay. She’s right. I’ll never get down to 130 if I can’t imagine being that small again. But I’m still a little iffy about how I feel about all of this “power of positive thinking” stuff. I mean will imagining myself at 130 and thinking of myself as that size already really get me to that point? Or will it just create a delusion that separates me from reality?

But then, if I am deluded and it isn’t hurting anyone maybe there’s nothing wrong with imagining myself at 130 while I’m really 190. Who knows? I guess we will see what happens. If I have to check into the booby hatch because I imagine myself as a buxom babe (but I stay borderline obese) I guess we will all know how it turned out.

Anyway, I’m wondering what your intentions are for the year. If you haven’t set any maybe you should. Where to you see yourself at Christmas time next year? Where do you want to see yourself? Are those two things the same vision? What would it take to make them the same? Do you need any help to make it happen? Who will you ask? Where will you start?

I’m starting with smaller portions at meals and joining a gym, interviews for my new book, finishing new stories for competitions and reading lots of books by way of preparing for school. As they sing in Rent: “It’s gonna be a happy, happy new year.”

Advertisements
6 Comments leave one →
  1. Bob permalink
    January 19, 2011 8:20 am

    I will be jumping for JOY with you. Go get it as you know that you want it..

    Like

  2. 2blu2btru permalink
    January 19, 2011 9:44 am

    Well, I have a lot of intentions, but the overall one is to live a more balanced life. I want to be published, but my smaller goal for the year is to finish some of the pieces that I have and get them publication ready. I am thinking one or two contest submissions of solid, quality work will suffice for a publication goal by December. I also have goals of paying down student loan debt and car payments, of reading more, and exercising regularly. I want to find my “fit passion” so to speak, what exercise I don’t dread doing AND I see results from, whether it’s mental or physical.

    You have a great list of intentions. I hope you stick to and achieve them all. 😀

    Like

  3. January 19, 2011 1:59 pm

    You can reach 130 again. Eat low fat low cal yogurt for two meals a day and one normal meal a day. I have lost 35 pounds this way. I eat two or three containers of 80 cal yogurt per meal and feel full. Your stomach shrinks and then you can’t eat as much as you used to.

    Blessings
    John Wilder

    Like

    • January 19, 2011 2:14 pm

      Well, I’m allergic to yogurt. Besides, although I’m sure my 31-year-old female metabolism would totally respond in the same way yours has, I didn’t ask you. I’m already working on this and I either have or am developing plans of my own. I also have a doctor, nutritionist and trainer here to ask if I want help. (And they all suggest eating more food more often actually.) I know you’re trying to be helpful, but you don’t know anywhere close to enough about my life and lifestyle just because you read my blog to offer advice — and I didn’t ask for advice because I don’t want it.

      Congrats on losing weight. Enjoy your yogurt.

      Like

  4. January 31, 2011 10:46 am

    Crystal,
    I love how open and honest you are about these things. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in achieving all of your goals and realizing your intentions. I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to figure this weight thing out – caring about it, not caring about it, dieting, dieting to a lesser extent (but always VERY aware of the food I eat and my weight)…. It’s a tough nut to crack. And, I find it hard to imagine myself the way I want to be, because it seems so far off and I’m actually more used to seeing myself the way I actually am – and always have been. I’ve always been at least a few pounds too heavy. I’ve never been a normal weight. But that’s my normal. My intention is to A: eat for health, not necessarily for calories/weight loss and B: love myself. I have to stop with the body analysis in the mirror and the constant fat girl jokes. These behaviors don’t build me up at all and do not aid in getting healthier or having a healthier self perception.

    Good luck – I look forward to hearing how this goes for you! Oh, and eat yogurt. I hear it does wonders. Haha jk 🙂

    Like

    • February 1, 2011 10:35 am

      I have gone a new direction in my life in terms of prayer. And my current weight-related endeavors are directly related to this. IN fact, my main focus is sort of revolving around changing my thinking patterns about weight and how I feel about myself.

      Because I was raised in the Christian tradition a lot of my “prayer” was just begging God to do stuff for me. It didn’t enhance my understanding of myself, my world or the “god” figure of my religion. I have started integrating what a lot of people call “visioning.” Which is basically just imagining a goal as if it is already achieved. However, I know I need to do some significant work to change my personal beliefs about weight and who I am in order to really envision myself the size I should be and believe that it is even possible.

      I have to love myself despite my size…which is pretty difficult considering how much I have beat myself up about it over the years and how much I have let other people beat me up about it. Plus I have an issue with the fact that I have developed a thought process that makes me feel like I’m safer if I’m heavy. Specifically safe from predatory men. So I have to reprogram that so that I really believe that it’s safe to be thin.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: