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Raise Your Hand if You’re on a Diet

March 7, 2011
girl on a diet, chocolate cake, cheating on diet, breaking diet

It's diet day one and so far...not so good.

Me too. Today I started a new one.

And last night I made the mistake of updating my Facebook status to reflect the upcoming change: “Okay, the play is over and I’m starting a new diet tomorrow. And I’m newly inspired. I just took a look at a few of the photos from the cast party…who is that fat girl wearing my clothes?”

I thought I was just being funny. But apparently, what I was really doing was opening myself up for a bunch of unwanted dieting advice.

Don’t start everything all at once.

Don’t call it a diet.

Do change one thing every day.

Don’t call yourself fat.

Don’t try so hard.

Do exercise with me.

Holy Crap — who asked you? I mean my status update did have a question in it, but those are not the answers to the question I asked.

“…who is that fat girl wearing my clothes?”

Well that’s you, Crystal…silly.

Maybe I should have followed up the status posting with a little lesson in common sense (which my boss is constantly telling me isn’t so common) about how it’s rude to give people advice they don’t ask for. And me, well I’m stubborn. If I haven’t asked you I’m likely to do the opposite of what you advise — no matter how good your suggestion is. So it’s better for both of us if you don’t give me unsolicited advice…about anything. Especially the things I chose to put into my mouth.

Humm…I think I know what my next status update is going to be.

Anyway, why do women jump out of their skin when this topic comes up? I know I do (but I think I know why that is). I’m crazy emotional about all of this. I mean I started crying when I told my doctor’s receptionist that I was overweight. That’s it, that’s all I said.

She said, “Is there anything else you’d like to talk to the doctor about during your appointment?”

“Well, I am overweight,” I said — and then I just started bawling. I was even sitting at my desk at work. Talk about embarrassing.

Why was I crying? Well I haven’t completely figured it out yet, but I know that it has nothing to do with my diet. Or with how I feel about myself as a person. Okay, wait. Those things do have something to do with each other. What I mean is, I know my diet and how I feel about myself as a person are not the cause of these emotions. (The emotions are attached to something else. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s a bunch of crap about men. Really, I haven’t completely figured it out — otherwise I probably wouldn’t burst into tears just admitting to a stranger that I’m overweight.)

So my diet, size and self-esteem don’t cause the emotions. But these emotions do sort of have a causal effect on my diet, size and self-esteem. Sounds like a cycle in the works to me. What do you think?

Yes, I’m calling it a diet, cause we are all on a diet — of course not all of us are on a restrictive diet for the purpose of losing weight. What you eat is your diet. Period. So, it’s STUPID not to call it that. I’m sorry if you consider “diet” to be one of the dirty 4-letter words. You will just have to get over it. I’m on a NEW diet. And, yes, I’m emotional about it. (And anger is clearly one of the emotions.)

So, this diet is kind of crazy. I’ll admit that. Every morning I’m supposed to take a hormone the doctor gave me and each day I’m supposed to limit my food intake to 500 calories. Don’t freak out folks. And seriously, don’t give me advice or warnings about how I should diet — I don’t want your opinion, I already got my DOCTOR’s opinion.

So, about my doctor’s opinion and advice. I guess the hormone is supposed to keep me from being hungry and tell my body to start metabolizing fat. Sounds like a great plan, right? Personally, I would probably shoot for 1000 calories a day at the lowest. But I can try this. So far there is just one problem.

It’s 8:40 a.m. and I’m already hungry.

Like CRAZY hungry. I don’t know if the hormone didn’t soak in like it’s supposed to or if it just isn’t going to work, but when I started typing this post I was on hour 3 and fading fast. It is going to be a challenge not to binge at lunch. And I don’t know if I have the self-discipline to resist.

I knew I should have gotten rid of all the food that isn’t on my diet from my apartment last night. At this rate it is going to be REALLY difficult not to tear into a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli at lunch time. And those are really not on the diet. Like they are kind of the opposite of this diet.

I couldn’t take it. I already ate my afternoon snack. It was like 10 a.m. So I guess I have technically already broken the diet. Damn! Maybe I should call my doctor’s office during my afternoon break (you know, when I would have been eating my afternoon snack) and let them know. Maybe I can get a pep talk from one of the nurses. Or some advice on how to make it till lunch!

Dude, if I’m this hungry after dinner it is going to be killer not to eat all night long while I’m home on my couch.

Anyway, wish me luck…

27 Comments leave one →
  1. Brianne permalink
    March 7, 2011 12:01 pm
  2. March 7, 2011 12:32 pm

    I’ve been on about 1000 diets in my life, and I hated every single one of them. Finally, after giving up, I figured out what works for me. I’ve been successful for the first time ever, and I’m NOT on a diet. I wish you success. But more than that, I wish you kindness toward yourself. NO diet should make you feel like a failure. 500 calories a day does sound too low. OK, I’ll stop now.


  3. March 7, 2011 12:36 pm

    Good Luck!

    You have to learn to tune out the noise but sometimes hidden in the noise is a wisdom bomb that can help so tuning out the worthless noise is tough at times.

    Accountability is a great tool. So telling everyone was a good idea as you are now on the hook.

    Coming here and starting a blog is another great tool to hold your feet to the fire.

    Eat less move more. 😀 That is the secret. 😀

    Taking it slow really is one of the keys to success. Make reachable goals so you feel great when you hit them.

    Take it one day at a time, don’t worry about the future or past mistakes, just do the best you can today.

    The hunger will subside. It really will. As you lower your calorie intake, your body will adjust. I eat about 1200 a day and I am not dying of hunger. From time to time it hits in a wave and I chug some water and distract myself here or in other forums or I watch a good movie or hit the video games. Before I know it the hunger is gone.

    Here Endeth the lecture, Good luck!

    The Grumpy Man


  4. March 7, 2011 1:10 pm

    Im on the same train right now and you know what- even if we are starving We can do this!


  5. March 7, 2011 1:23 pm

    Wise men don’t need advice. Fools won’t take it. –Benjamin Franklin



  6. March 7, 2011 1:32 pm

    With such a nice attitude, I am sure you will be successful. 😛


    • March 7, 2011 1:48 pm

      I do actually have a nice attitude overall. You, however, are being rude. I made it very clear in my post (Did you bother reading it by the way? Or are you just posting comments on blogs that have something to do with dieting in a paltry effort to get people to go to your blog?) that advice was the LAST thing I wanted. That it is counter-productive even.

      It’s like I showed you a huge, dark bruise, said, “don’t touch, it hurts,” And then you poked it as hard as you could.



  7. March 7, 2011 7:01 pm

    I saw your FB post and I remember thinking – is she nuts?? Why put that out there? Haha, I say that not to hate on you, but because I know how it feels when I mention I’m unhappy with my weight or the way I look, and then people come out of the flippin woodwork to tell me the best diet they ever did, or that it’s really just eating healthy and exercising (Really? It’s that simple? Skinny bitches.). For me, weight is something I try not to talk about. It’s almost impossible to avoid saying something that will hurt my feelings, no matter how well-intentioned. So I keep most of it to myself. BUT – when I do want to vent – I do just as you did on the blog post. I’ll say “I feel fat. I’m venting. I do NOT want your advice or tips.” That usually helps. But for some reason, women feel this camaraderie when it comes to weight. Almost EVERY woman struggles with their weight (usually to lose it, but some women struggle to gain), so everyone feels like they are an expert and must put their two cents in. My thought is – UNLESS you ask for my advice, I struggle enough on my own, I’m just going to keep to myself. I will support you, wish you luck, and say that I totally empathize with your struggle, because I struggle too…. but until I figure this out myself and become a personal trainer or something, I have no room to talk.
    All that is to say…. GOOD LUCK! I really want you to feel comfortable in your own skin. I’ve been there a handful of times in my life, and it was a wonderful feeling. I’m trying to get there again.


    • March 7, 2011 10:09 pm

      “It’s almost impossible to avoid saying something that will hurt my feelings, no matter how well-intentioned.” Me too. And thanks for the support. I agree about the assumed camraderie. Sorry lady, we aren’t on the same team just because we both need to lose some weight.

      Cath, I know this can be equally frustrating, but I have to say, I think you are beautiful and judging from your Facebook photos (yeah, I Facebook stalked you a little) you don’t look like you need to lose any weight to me. Of course that doesn’t mean you feel comfortable in your skin at the moment. I know I don’t when I see photos and realize how heavy I’ve become. So I hope you get there again soon and are able to stay there.

      And I’m hoping the same for myself.

      Anyway, thanks again for the support. And thanks for opening up a bit about your personal struggles and opinions. Love you doll!


      • March 9, 2011 7:45 am

        Thanks so much, Crystal. That’s very sweet of you to say. The thing is, the Facebook pics are sooooo carefully chosen, just to give you the impression you had :). People tag me in pics and I look HUGE and I untag them. It’s a full time job trying to avoid pictures that make me look fat (and I have a serious problem with pictures – I hate the way I look in more than two thirds of the pictures that are taken of me. It’s become a problem in my life in general; I can’t fully enjoy parties that have someone taking pictures. I dread any mention of “let’s get together for a group pic!” I really can’t properly explain how I feel about people taking pictures of me – it makes my stomach literally hurt. It’s kind of a serious problem I am working through).

        So anyway, there have been moments, glimpses really, in my life that I was comfortable in my skin. Moments where I didn’t mind a picture being taken of me. Times when “You have been tagged in 3 pictures” on Facebook did not induce a full scale panic attack to get to my computer and make sure they weren’t awful. I get pissed off at myself for letting this weight thing control my life – but I’m not sure how to fix it. I’ve gotten some counseling, and what I’ve found is that feeling better about myself is the only fix. And the only way to feel better about myself is to lose some weight. Work out. Eat more healthily. And equally importantly, practice daily affirmations.

        Good luck to both of us. I hope your hunger subsides, because I can’t imagine being successful while also being starved. 🙂


        • March 9, 2011 8:34 am

          Oh Catherine, sweetie…I can kind of relate. Several of my best friends are photo whores and when I’m getting ready to hang out with them I rarely dress to the nines or bother putting makeup on. I mean they are the friends who will accept me no matter what so why bother right? Wrong. The next day when all the photos are tagged I remember why I should have worn eyeliner and done my hair. See:


          • March 15, 2011 12:09 pm

            I can’t see this particular picture for some reason, but trust me, I’ve facebook stalked you just slightly and you are very pretty 🙂 I wish you the best of luck in your efforts but I have to say that I hope you realize that you are a very attractive woman just as you are! I’m practicing my daily affirmations to convince myself of the same – and remind myself that I can love myself all the while working to improve myself. They don’t have to be mutually exclusive.


  8. March 8, 2011 7:57 am

    I’ve never been on a diet before. I’ve changed my eating habits (which is what I prefer to call putting food into my mouth, as diet sounds too restrictive and, well, contains the word “die”) and switched to wheat bread and substitute turkey for beef or something. I lived with a girl in college studying dietics & nutrition, and after that, I vowed to NEVER give advice on nutrition or dieting to anyone not in my skin (and so far that’s only me :D)

    Changes to my eating habits are easy for me, but it’s finding exercise routines/activities that I like to keep my metabolism up that has been a challenge.

    Good luck with your new plan. I’m sure that as you see the results you want, things will balance themselves out for you emotionally. Confidence seeps into all areas, at least for me. I will be more fit and find I give better presentations at work (two completely unrelated things). Usually for me, when I don’t see results immediately, I get discouraged. Hopefully, you aren’t like me.


    • March 8, 2011 8:22 am

      It doesn’t matter what you call it…it’s still your diet (a : food and drink regularly provided or consumed b : habitual nourishment).

      I think the new plan is going to die in it’s infancy. I’m calling my doctor today. This is insane. I’ve now been painfully hungry for 2 days. The plan is not working the way they said it would.


  9. March 8, 2011 8:31 am

    My family members have tried all sorts of diets, and while most quit, some have actually found ones that go with their lifestyles. I guess it’s a matter of trial and error. If you don’t think something works for you, it can’t hurt to try something else. I feel this way about exercise. If one more person tells me what exercises I HAVE to do, something bad will happen (I’m not sure what yet). I tried that and it didn’t work for me. If I still want to accomplish my goal, I either have to continue on in hopes I grow used to it or try something else. So I try something else. 🙂 It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind…and dig in her heels when she doesn’t want to change her mind.

    As much as you don’t want advice on how to diet, I don’t really want to change what I call my eating habits 🙂


    • March 8, 2011 8:36 am

      I didn’t say you had to call it something else. I’m just saying no matter what you call it it is still a diet.

      I’m glad you’ve found things that work for you. Of course I totally relate to your exercise quandary. Personally I just have to do something. I keep thinking dance classes of some sort will be a good idea for me. You know, something I enjoy that is exercise in disguise. I never manage to bite the bullet though. After I get off work I rarely want to do anything but eat dinner and read.


  10. Amy permalink
    March 8, 2011 10:37 am

    I absolutely hate going on diets. My willpower is zero, so the first day is great and then, boom, back off.

    Wishing you all the success to get through. I would definitely chat again with your doc though…500 cal does seem low. Maybe the med takes a few days to kick in??


    • March 8, 2011 10:58 am

      Ugh…I hope you’re right about the meds kicking in in a few days. If that’s the case they need to give you the meds for 3 days and then tell you to start the diet! Thanks for the well-wishing.


  11. dave c permalink
    March 8, 2011 12:30 pm

    I think your doctor’s a douche, and any real doctor would have said something about flax seed oil.


    FYI: Don’t take diet advice from a guy who is at least 60 lbs overweight, and the last time he lost weight, it was because he was on a hospital regulated diet with tubes running in and out of him.


  12. March 8, 2011 4:36 pm

    Good luck! I keep trying to start a diet… and then not. I really am going to start (again) this week, though.

    I think the thing with advice is that while some people (like the dude up there, and maybe everyone who commented on your FB status) want to tell you what to do, or say their way is the best/only way, sometimes people really are trying to be helpful and supportive. Unfortunately, even the well-meaning people don’t always consider that people’s personal circumstances, bodies, appetites, etc. vary so much that what works for one person (or even one large group of people) may not work for another.

    For example: I have found some things that work for me (basically: a diet that tells me exactly what to eat and when to eat it — devised by a doctor or nutritionist or someone who knows what they’re talking about. And some kind of scheduled exercise that I have paid for and can’t really skip), but people are always trying to tell me why other ways are better. And I’m sure they are… for them. Also, the jobs I tend to have (e.g. newspaper reporter) tend to get in the way of regimented diet and exercise routines — which people with normal hours don’t always get.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is: I feel your pain. And I really hope you find something that works for you that doesn’t require you to feel like you’re starving all the time!


    • March 9, 2011 8:29 am

      I’m glad you’ve found some things that work for you. Obviously, I’m still looking for something that works for me! Honestly, I’ve been so emotional about this topic that I haven’t even been looking for long.


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