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Interesting Men…

April 11, 2011

woman, men, dinner partyTo my left and to my right (quite literally this past Thursday night in fact).

That’s right, I’m suddenly surrounded and I want to get to know these guys better. Much better. There’s one problem — I feel like these intriguing men will think I am trying to pursue them romantically. And maybe I would be interested in something romantic with them — I’m definitely interested in something romantic in general — but really I just want to get to know them better. But how does one (especially a female one) do that in this culture?

Really, almost any interest from the opposite sex is automatically interpreted as romantic (or at the very least sexual). And women who pursue men are often perceived negatively. And, here’s another twist: I want to have to possibility for something to become romantic if I become interested in that vein, and I feel that pursing the relationships will preclude that opportunity.

I don’t know if there is a good way to proceed. And patience is probably highly advised, but I am so eager now because I was so shocked to meet these interesting men in the first place! I’m so impatient! This weekend I was wishing that life were more like a movie so that all of this drama could develop and resolve itself over the course of 90 minutes. Although, I guess I do have some sense of how this is going to go.

Honestly, I might never see one of the guys again. And I’m pretty sure that another one of these men isn’t interested in me at all. And another one of the men is gay. So there’s that. One of my good friends even basically claimed one of the guys for herself already. (Are we still doing this by the way? Claiming men and creating competition after the first meeting like sixth-graders? Talk about pressure. I just want to get to know him better and she has already decided that she should get a chance with him instead of me.) Anyway, the odds are that nothing romantic will develop with these men because it looks like friendships may not even develop with them.

Maybe the Universe is just telling me not to give up hope.

Well, Universe, you win! I am newly inspired to clean my apartment so that I don’t have to turn down visitors. I’ve made my bed (and imagined another person in it with me). I cleaned my car so that passengers can now ride comfortably anywhere in the vehicle — including the trunk if that should be necessary.

I’m newly inspired to make my body a nice place to visit as well (although this part does depress me).

I made this decision on Friday morning after realizing how many interesting men were surrounding me and on Friday night several men (not the interesting ones I had hoped) tried to follow me home. So I guess my labor isn’t in vain and my message is getting out there. But just in case, here it is again for good measure:

To all interesting men everywhere I’m ready for you. Or I’m getting ready for you. I’m interested in a serious, deep and loving relationship. So, I will be turning down purely sexual advances, although I promise to be flattered by them. I promise that I am interesting too and you will enjoy getting to know me. So find me. Meet me. Ask me some questions. Let us interest one another.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. April 11, 2011 10:43 am

    “This weekend I was wishing that life were more like a movie so that all of this drama could develop and resolve itself over the course of 90 minutes”. What a beautiful line, and what a beautiful thought 🙂


  2. April 14, 2011 7:37 am

    wow, I really like your attitude 🙂

    But the people from the opposite sex are also right to think that you’re possibly interested in a romantic relationship with them, because you are. As long as both sides don’t forget the “possible” or “eventually” part, we don’t have a problem.
    Today I had a short argument with a friend, who told me how she would never make the first step and say helo to someone, so this post was really refreshing, 10x 🙂


    • April 14, 2011 8:20 am

      Well, I don’t know if I “made the first step.” The people I met were hanging out with my friends so I met them. I dunno. I’m certainly afraid to scare men off by pursuing a connection with them.


  3. Thomas permalink
    April 20, 2011 4:01 am

    beautiful thoughts….but don’t think that a woman who is pursuing a man is looked at in a negative manner… if a woman is inspired, only a fool will fail to recognize her efforts… I love women…am addicted to them…I celebrate them for all that they are…. look deeper…. yes…. look deeper…. in fact, you should say hello once in a while…



  4. May 8, 2011 2:33 am

    I would like to thankyou for such an enlightening post. I dont by and large reply on blogs as I wish to lurk and read. However your style of literature is uncomplicated to understand, I love the fact that it is clear and to the point. I will make sure that I mail your blog to my acquaintances as I am certain they will not only like reading your post but also find it extremely instructive.


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