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My Constellation

April 18, 2011

I think I might be at the eagle stage of this Scorpio journey.

My weekend sort of had a theme. All about the stars and other heavenly bodies.

On Friday night I met a few friends for dinner and we all talked about our sun signs for a large portion of the meal. And apparently, I’m a pretty classic Scorpio. And, I’ve decided that is a good thing. I don’t know much about that sort of thing — being raised Baptist and taught that such things are nonsense at best and demonic at worst — so I didn’t know much about that it might mean to be a Scorpio. So, I did some reading.

While there are certainly drawbacks I think I see the Scorpio in me. Or the me in the Scorpio.

I mean, the scorpion, the eagle, the dove…yeah, that seems like me. Passionate, always looking to the deeper sides of things…yeah, that seems like me too. Dark at times and bringing light to the darkness at others…yeah. Okay, I guess I am a Scorpio.

Big time.

Maybe that’s why all the men I run into lately are interested in having sex with me. Scorpios are also the sexiest sign. I don’t know if I agree with that one, but I’ll take it.

Saturday I had a different kind of starlight. I was in a workshop all day. It was psychological in nature and it was called Constellation. It’s was sort of about how we are all stars in the constellation of our families. And for me it was more about how we are all stars in the same universe. Made of the same matter and energy. Burning and turning together and…well it was intense.

Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible for me to explain it to people — especially without sounding a little insane — but it was a revealing day. And it was also good practice for me because it is all about emotions. And while I am that passionate Scorpio girl, I also don’t trust my emotions all that much or all that often.

I get much more cerebral about things. Or I try to. At least I have in the past.

I want it all to make sense and I’m always trying to be reasonable rather than simply feeling my way. At least, I have in the past. I want to explain it. To simplify it. To show it to everyone. The man behind the curtain. The life inside of things. I want us all to look at it together. I want to unravel the mystery and I want it to make sense. Brain sense. Not heart sense.

At least I used to be like that.

I’m getting better at not needing answers. I’m learning that my brain doesn’t get it all. If it did I wouldn’t need a heart. Or fingers. Or lips. Or eyes.

So, I’m starting to trust my intuition a lot more. I can’t seem to get my brain to shut up, but I’m certainly trying to feel my way currently. Or taste it. Or see it. Especially in regard to my career and romance.

Speaking of romance…did you see the moon last night?

“When I consider your heavens … the moon and the stars … what is man that you are mindful of him?”

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 19, 2011 10:47 pm

    I have to learn to trust my intuition. It looks like paying a bit more attention to it would be great!


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