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There’s a Reason They Call them Crushes…

May 20, 2011

“If they were easy they would be called something else. “

— Dad to Samantha in John Hughes, Sixteen Candles

I have a crush. And it feels like a crush — in all the good and all the bad ways. Extreme highs and extreme lows and I’m back in high school again.

We barely know one another, but he’s always on my mind. I get a little rush of energy and excitement when I think about him — and seem I think about him all the time. (Is it because he’s thinking about me?)

Of course, I can’t tell if he likes me — and usually I can tell if a guy is interested. And I usually totally get it if he isn’t. And in this situation I can’t even reason through it. (This one doesn’t add up and it is AGONY not knowing.)

I can think of all the reasons why he might not like me and might not want to date me. But I just want a chance to show him all of the reasons he should like me. (I really am amazing. I promise.)

Of course when I’m around him I freeze up a bit. Not completely, but enough that the real me — the best version of me doesn’t come out. (What must he think of me after that conversation?)

Sheesh. What am I going to do about this?

Well, as with most crushes there probably isn’t anything to do. I’ve considered asking him out. But a “no” would make things awkward. Or I’m concerned that it would. And I want the chance to be friends even if he isn’t into me in that way. Cause he’s amazing. And I can’t be making it awkward for amazing men to be a part of my life.

I guess the thing to do is wait. See if he develops and interest in me and try not to be too crushed. Besides, I know there are other women in his life. It’s not like I’m the only female he’s ever met. He might already be in love with someone else.

How about you all? Anyone in deep crush right now? If not can you tell me about your worst crush? Or your best crush? Or just your best crush story? Let’s share!

13 Comments leave one →
  1. Kris F. permalink
    May 20, 2011 10:28 am

    I had a crush for a little while on the guy who did my tattoo….lol. It felt nice for a while, but was only temporary. I have no need to see him on a regular basis, and would feel awkward going in and asking him out. Plus, if I did and he said no, he could never ink me again.


    • May 20, 2011 10:43 am

      So you’re preserving your professional relationship? I see that.


    • Nathan permalink
      May 20, 2011 12:03 pm

      So, your crush was temporary, but the tattoo was permanent? 🙂


  2. May 20, 2011 10:54 am

    Wait is never the thing to do, because waiting is equal to doing nothing and hoping, that something will get done by someone or something else… I’ve been waiting for 2 years now, it sucks. But that’s the thing with crushes – it has it’s ups and down and the ups are so high, that you can live on their highs for pretty long.

    Lately I feel like in high-school again too, because since a couple of months I have another crush too and I’m thorned… So I’m been pretty crushy lately and not only lately and I would have to say, that I wouldn’t trade it for some peace and quiet 😉

    There’s also an award on my blog for you 🙂


    • May 20, 2011 11:02 am

      Thanks for sharing Teo! And I will take another look at your blog! I always love an award 😉


  3. May 20, 2011 12:12 pm

    No crush right now. I’ve got mostly fondness for my S.O., but all things “crush-like” disappeared some months ago.

    Actually . . . can I say I have a crush on Thor’s abs? O:)


    • May 20, 2011 1:58 pm

      You CAN say you have a crush on Thor’s abs. And I’m glad you brought them up. Oh sigh. Abs.


  4. Dakota permalink
    May 26, 2011 12:29 pm

    Hi Crystal,

    Thank you for your engaging comment. I can see what you’re saying. The world is a changing place… It’s funny to look back on things and see that they influence today in lots of ways, whether we notice it or not is another thing. 🙂 Hope you have an amazing end of the week ahead, and a great weekend coming! 🙂


    p.s I LOVE your blog, and the things you write. Good depth in your articles. This one makes me grin. I’m in love with my crush now 🙂 🙂


  5. Shelby permalink
    August 26, 2014 11:34 pm

    I just got back to college from the summer, me being a sophomore, and as everybody comes to visit, I was with my friends and there’s this guy who looks familiar and I just feel pulled towards him. He’s 6’4, plays basketball, has bright blue, gorgeous eyes, with longish flowing hair with a piece of it bleached blond on the side of his head. The best part about him… – he has tattoos. He’s probably my perfect guy, honestly. I’d never met another guy that I’ve found this glorious… His voice is smooth and deep, and makes my heart flutter. And when he smiles… I feel like I could fly away into the heavens by his sweet lips.

    I found him familiar because he came to visit the basketball boys – to which I am friends with – for an overnight and I had seen him then. I hadn’t talked to him, but he looked like an interesting person… and now that I’ve seen and know a bit about him, I want to know more. He’s so enticing, I just want to talk to him constantly. I could watch him play basketball till his heart can’t take anymore, and then we could just talk or sit in each others company… He’s such a good basketball player. He’s aggressive and really possessive in the game, and that draws me even more towards him.

    We’ve only talked a few times, but it’s so obvious to me and my friends that I like him. When he’s around, I can’t function correctly. I’m a naturally shy person around new people, but around him… I go mute. I want to talk to him so badly but I can’t because I’m stuck on him so much. I get all awkward and quite and shy and can barley talk to anybody really… not just him.

    I really like him, though I know I barley know him, but I know as my friend said, “I caught feelings.” Well… he is right. But I really don’t care, because he’s worth all this. Just being around him or in the vicinity of him makes me feel giggly and giddy but then super flustered knowing I can’t have him.

    I don’t have much experience with guys in general, not having had a boyfriend ever in my 19 years on this earth, but I can just imagine a simple touch or hug from him would set me off completely, in the best way. Around him, I’m just observing him and how he works, because I love everything he does. His actions, his words, how he speaks… He entices me. If I can’t have him for myself – which I know I can’t, cause he doesn’t like me, I’m 99% sure – I would absolutely LOVE to be his friend. I just don’t want to lose him, and if I can just get him as a friend, I’m okay with it.

    I just want to be able to be myself around him, that’s all I want. His friends too, cause I’m nervous around all those guys. They are just really cool guys and I want them in my lives, to which I hope they will stay, but him, my guy, most of all. I wish it would be that easy.


    • August 27, 2014 7:35 am

      Oh my god … (eye roll) … just ask him out already! If you are already friends — like really friends, not we hang out at the same places sometimes, but never talk or make eye contact friends — it shouldn’t hurt a thing. Either he will say yes and you will have an awkward time on a date with a guy you barely know anything about and are dying to bone. Or you will get a chance to bone him!

      Now, I’m being rather flippant here, but I promise this is not a tragedy of some epic proportion. But truthfully it sounds like you are in full-on sexual stalker mode. Your comment makes me think that you don’t know anything about him other than physical attributes and that you are REALLY horny. Plus, when you described him and then said he was totally your type there wasn’t a single personality trait on the list. It was all about what he looked like.

      He might be as dull as a box of hammers. Get to know him. See if he’s funny. She if he’s stupid. She if there is any way on earth that he could possibly understand you and who you are as a person. And get out of this creepy stalker-mode fantasy. I feel like you are seriously on a slippery slope emotionally. This could lead to some classic “crazy girl” behavior (like crying to his friends, getting drunk and having sex with other members of the basketball team, keying his car…). Or worse — cutting off that bleached lock of hair in his sleep and then keeping it close to your heart somehow.

      Besides, if I were to judge him based solely on the physical description you gave me I would say he’s probably a major douchebag, idiot and/or asshole. I mean tattoos — plural — as a freshman in college? And what kind of down-to-earth, sensitive thoughtful guy bleaches his hair? Most of them don’t. He’s also a freshman in college and part of a team sport. He is very likely in his douchebag/idiot/asshole phase at the very least.

      The only way to know for sure — quit mooning over him and get to know him!

      And, of course, be smart, be safe and do your homework. College is an amazing time that you will probably be paying for for the rest of your life. Don’t waste it ALL obsessing over one guy. (Obsess over a lot of guys.)

      I wish you VERY well!


      • Shelby permalink
        August 27, 2014 9:46 am

        Gosh, now I feel like an idiot. I’m really not that type of person, and that’s not what I want at all. Though what I wrote makes it seem like that. I feel really awkward now and I apologize for pretty much wasting your time. He just seems like a cool dude and I want to get to know him. I promise you that I’m not some horny college student and that’s all I think about. I just feel really embarrassed that I wrote all that… and you had to read it. I am a shy person, but I’m going to get over that… and not obsess over people. I don’t want to be that type of person and now that you pointed that out to me, yeah no, I don’t want to be that person.

        So anyways, thank you for taking your time to let me know that I need to work on some things and I’ll get over this obsession.

        I do apologize, because I feel really awkward and embarrassed over this.


        • August 27, 2014 12:57 pm

          Don’t be embarrassed! We’ve all been there. And I don’t think you are bad person — I’m sorry you felt like that was what I was saying. My time wasn’t wasted at all. There is nothing wrong with being a horny college student. And, college is a really good time to get over being shy. Doing things like asking guys on dates and realizing that you won’t die if they say no is a good way to get over being shy. I’m sure you’re doing just fine! Now the obsession bit is something to be careful about because that is the stuff that — if left unchecked — can cause us real pain. It is also something that every one of us is capable of. In fact most of us have had an unhealthy obsession or two. So, again, you don’t need to be embarrassed. Just do your best. That’s all any of us can do.


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