Give and Receive Love — But How?
“I open myself fully to give and receive love.”
This has been my mantra recently. When I started on this path I didn’t think much of it because I’ve always thought of myself as a very loving person. But I’m finding it increasingly difficult to remain completely open to give and receive love at all times with all people.
Especially when I’m driving. (Why can’t people just stay out of my way?…and go the speed limit…and use their turning signals!)
“I open myself fully to GIVE and receive love.”
Anyway, the more I think about this — and the more I try to consciously and tangibly give love to people — the more I have realized that we have blocks in our society to this kind of practice. As I alluded to a while back, love is one of the best gifts that people in this culture refuse to accept.
We have so many rules and regulations on love in our society. And loving people freely and openly often frightens people and urges them to run away rather than drawing them in to offer them more love. It’s seems so counter-intuitive.
Think about it. If you really did something openly loving (and I mean beyond simple niceties like good manners) for everyone you encounter people would be afraid of you. Suspicious. Nervous. Confused. Afraid.
“I open myself fully to give and RECEIVE love.”
I would think that putting love out there would attract people who want to love me in return. I find that it often attracts VERY needy people who want tons of attention and have nothing to give in return. That makes me afraid. I don’t need a succubus any more than the next person.
“I OPEN myself fully to give and receive love.”
Well, despite these issues I’m still trying. When I am totally staying in this place of wanting to give and receive love to and from everyone I encounter I can see how I might seem odd. I start wanting to hug everyone and I stop my friends mid-sentence and tell them I love them. I can be seen skipping across the street when I move my car. I’m overwhelmed by emotion and I burst into tears over the slightest things.
I like it, but these things what happen when I’m fully open are so uncomfortable for people. I get lots of sideways glances and facial expressions that feel like the person is wondering what is wrong with me. And it concerns me that perhaps I am unwittingly pushing people away with this practice. And of course, the purpose is for the opposite to happen!
“I open myself FULLY to give and receive love.”
I talked to my counselor about this. She suggested I try to be fully open to give and receive love with out being demonstrative about it. Well that’s really difficult for me. Because when I’m practicing this that’s all I want to do! I want to give presents to people. I want to high-five strangers. I want to pick up little kids I run into on the street and twirl them around.
Don’t worry I haven’t been picking up random kids. I just want to. And it’s hard to resist. So I’m in a quandary. I’m trying to open myself up, but I find myself needing to deny the impulses that come with it, which winds up closing me off again. Interesting cycle.
Maybe I just need more people in my life who are okay with me being demonstrative about my love. But honestly, among all of my friends and family they aren’t all too comfortable accepting love either. Maybe that’s part of why I have been hoping for and looking for new friends.
I need more ways to love others.
“I open MYSELF fully to give and receive love.”
But it isn’t easy finding people to love. And even if you are just looking for friends it’s kind of like dating because I’m basically asking people to come into my life so that I can love them. I’m not giving up this. Because the effort, even though it is regularly thwarted, to give and receive love in all situations with all people — Fully — has changed me in great ways.
I’m happier, sadder, deeper…and I have more to give. Should someone choose to receive it.