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I Wish I May…

April 14, 2015
This is the bracelet I won at Christmas time. The charm is called "Wishing Star," and I have been wearing it everyday since the breakup -- to remind myself to keep wishing. After I made my wish tonight, I looked down and thought, "it is so."

This is the bracelet I won at Christmas time. The charm is called “Wishing Star,” and I have been wearing it everyday since the breakup — to remind myself to keep wishing. After I made my wish tonight, I looked down and thought, “it is so.”

Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have this wish.
I wish tonight.

Growing up, I always treated this little poem as a special prayer. If I was blessed enough to see the first and only star in the sky, it was as if I had the eye of God himself for one minute. What’s more, I almost always “prayed” for the same thing: “Dear God, I want love.”

Over time the prayer has changed and evolved — but I always ask for love in some form. Sometimes I ask for someone to love, or someone to love me…someone to love me, whom I love in return. I started doing this when I was about 12, so I usually mean romantic love. But that idea has expanded over the years too.

Sometimes I just want someone who will accept the love I give. Anyone, even a stranger. And honestly, that’s not so easy to find in our culture. (Little kids in grocery store lines are always a good place to direct love.)

Well, I saw the first star in the sky tonight. I don’t completely remember what I said, and my current idea of God is certainly bigger than my old idea of a guy with all sorts good stuff up in the sky handing out blessings if we begged correctly. But I still couldn’t help but make a wish — send up a prayer.

“I want love. Big love, deep love. I want to create something beautiful with someone else. I want a partner. I want energy. I want passion. I want adventure. I want deep connection and affection to abide in.

Creation. Passion. Beauty. Creation. Love.

I want a big life. I don’t know what that means for sure. I don’t know what it is going to look like, but I know how I want it to feel, how it will feel, how it feels right now: Big.

Big Life.
Big Love.

You know too, don’t you, Universe. Yeah, you get that ready for me. And I’ll do  my best to be ready for it.

Creation. Passion. Beauty…
Big. Big Life. Big Love.”

Star light, star bright…

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